but i’m not horizontal
Anthony J. Williams

Missed you on Twitter today, but I am very happy you posted this. I definitely understand where you are coming from. I have serious issues with depression that spike up periodically. Sometimes social media is a respite, sometimes it inflames my frustration and anger or makes me just want to quit caring. For me I have to actively monitor who/what I follow so I can balance positivity with the horror that our world so often engenders.

I also definitely think that it’s absurd that “seeking help” so often only results in band-aid fixes that don’t do anything to address the underlying roots of the problem. Sometimes we desperately need those band-aids but even when they work it doesn’t mean that our mental-health system and we as individuals should give up seeking more enduring solutions. Putting bandages over injuries is good, but figuring out how to reduce the risk of those injuries is better, and that’s not something I feel our mental health system is very good at on the whole.

I think as individuals maybe the best we can do is to try to find things we can pursue in the between-times where things aren’t quite so impossible that help mitigate those times, be it model-railway building, spirituality, social-activism, excercise, art, etc. I feel like whenever we find something that helps us feel alive we need to grasp it and use it as a tool, but also, like you point out here, to not get so hooked on it that we can’t put that tool down when it stops serving it’s purpose. Tools can be put down and picked up as needed but just because we love hammering nails doesn’t mean that’s all we ever have to do so… yeah I think my metaphor is running out but that’s one way I try to look at things.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you today and that when I found your piece here I appreciated it, and why you are doing a social-media purge. I pray you may eventually find some piece again through whatever means are truly right for you in the time that you find them.

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