Raising Hector
by Little Hector (with help from Miss Mela)
Some little angels will never tell you when they need to go.
We do not always possess the capacity to explain our bodily functions.
My Miss Mela always watches the language of my body closely. She analyzes my motions with years of wisdom born from experience. Any jittery movements above ordinary jitteriness may be an indication that I need to urinate.
Miss Mela must act quickly or risk me wetting myself.
If I wet myself, or worse, my parents take it as a sign of negligence on the part of Miss Mela and become upset and even threaten to relieve Miss Mela of her own duties.
My little angel eyes’ try to avoid the kind dark eyes of Miss Mela but she follows them left, right, up, down, and all around until they finally lock with mine. In a warm but firm tone Miss Mela asks me “Does somebody need to tinky winky? Little Hector, speak truthfully, must you use the potty?”
Miss Mela makes me try to use the potty even when I insist very passionately that I do not need to use the potty. I avoid 80% of accidents solely from the vigilance of my caretaker. I believe I could prevent a bulk of the other twenty percent if I only told Miss Mela the truth of when I must use the potty.
But sometimes I pull away and shrink into my own secrecy.
Today Miss Mela smelt something foul.
The instant she made the mistake of trying to mop the floor of my lunch I crept into the shadows. She found me crouching in the corner behind the recliner in shame.
While I watched many a police dog cartoon, Miss Mela, who earned a phD in her home country, spent most of the afternoon trying to wash and dry the stains out of police dog themed underwear before 7 pm.
She was unsuccessful. All her efforts could not remove my powerful stains.
So she sealed the undies in two layers of plastic bags and stuffed them into her purse. On the bus home she accidentally forgot the bag.
Will my parents ever know? It is doubtful. Miss Mela does the laundry. And even if they did count one missing dog policeman underwear they might still not know. Even this nation so devoid of imagination acknowledges the existence of such magical creatures as sock and underwear thieves.
And even if nobody else in this mad nation seems not to know Miss Mela knows that in the world of children, there is no such thing as perfection. Those that seek to impose perfection on the world of young potty trainers are a cruel and ignorant sort. An occasional act of deception is wise around such people. I have learned this moral from Miss Mela and not from my cartoon shows. When one overreacts to small things, one invites both big and small secrets into their lives and they shall forever have a long shadow behind their back and rarely know of it.
Please share your own potty training tips in the comments below. If you have interest in the other challenges of being cared for by an underpaid immigrant, also do not hesitate to start a discussion.
That’s all from Little Hector today! By the way, do you like toys? Or know anybody that does? Make sure to check out our toy reviews too!
