Day 11: (OUT)RAGE

You brood of vipers! How can you speak good things, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Matthew 12:34(NRSV)

Jesus comes here and points out the beautiful truth that frightens us all. 
 
 Jesus isn’t kind.

Jesus isn’t nice.

Jesus isn’t domesticated.

Jesus drops what I like to call truth bombs — and they leave us outraged.

Jesus points out our evil — points out the places where we allow evil to sit within us unchallenged.

As you’ve no doubt noticed, I’ve shaped my reflections by choosing the part of my identity each week that I feel like I tend to hide away or under-represent and emphasizing it. Last week, I brought my transness to the forefront of my conversations, but this week, I have brought the dual sided and sophisticated understanding of myself as both Fat and a person with Disordered Eating.

We don’t like to talk about being fat. We don’t like to speak about people who experience disordered eating patterns. It’s easier to love the person and forget about all the things that bring them to the point where they are. We want to love the person and forget their particularities. As some people might put it otherwise, we want to love the sinner and hate the sin.

Except. There is no sinner.

There is no sin.

There’s only us. You. And. Me.

You can love me as God’s beloved. Or you can not love me — but the options in between there are not all that promising. They look a lot like spraying scent on a pile of smelly socks.

And that leaves me with OUTRAGE.

That I am willing to cut off parts of myself to meet the needs of other regions.

That leaves me with bloody OUTRAGE

Because cutting off one part of me for another part of me still kills me — even if it kills me slowly.

And I’m not here to die slowly.

I’m not here to wait for you to accept me, to recognize me as God’s beloved.

I’m here for sacred outrage.

I’m here to walk for liberation.

Somedays, Today, that means I take my urge to inflict pain on this world that hates me, and turn it into an urge to deconstruct the systems of sin around us. The Broods of Vipers around us.

I’m here to wait… walk… resist.

Where are you nice?

Where is your outrage?

Where are you waiting?

Where are you Walking?

Where are you resisting?

Set Me Free — Jennifer Knapp (A non-transgender, queer musician)

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