Day Seven: For Fuck’s Sake
And they asked him [John], “What then? Are you Elijah?” He said, “I am not.” “Are you the prophet?” He answered, “No.” John 1:21, NRSV, adaptation mine.
I need to tell y’all something.
I love questions. I love answering questions. If you want to learn something, if you want to know someone better, if you want to change the way you interact with someone, it all starts with a question. And it ends with an answer. Hopefully. Sometimes it continues with a different question, a better question… sometimes, you get to trade off asking questions.
Questions are my favorite.
Today, John was bombarded with questions about who he was, where he was going, what role he was going to play in the religious/political sphere. Was he a political messiah sent to free Judea from the Roman Empire? Was he the prophet Elijah to provide the bread of Good News to feed the People of Israel? No. No. No.
A Voice calls out in the Wilderness… Clear and level a pathway for our God. I am the voice. The earth and society are in labour… something new is coming. This is John’s answer… this is what John does.
I’m a clergy candidate. A huge part of what I do is crying out — The family of God is being realized here and now. Come Join us. Let’s make this family bigger. Or, The Family of God is separated right there — how can we change and fix this?
In Advent, we cry out — God, come again. Remind us of your coming reign, fill us with your love, and point us again and again to your new way of being.
Today though, people ask me questions, and I can only say For Fuck’s sake. Yesterday, I wrote about people who I let hurt me deeply. People with whom I had asked, answered, and conversed with questions, answers, love, hope and dreams. They are human. They make mistakes, and they cause pain. Just like I am human. I make mistakes. I cause pain.
Advent reminds me that Jesus is coming. A time is coming when our tears will be wiped away, and God will sit with us in our hurt, our pain and our grief.
FOR FUCKS SAKE. SIT WITH ME JESUS. SIT WITH ME NOW.
Protect me from hurting those I love.
Protect me from hurting those near to me.
Excise the sins of racism, sexism, classism, internalized femmephobia, internalized queerphobia, internalized transphobia from my soul, so that I can continue this work of liberation for all of us.
Come Oh Jesus. This world needs you. We’ve been waiting for two-thousand years.