The Misconception of Men & Their Emotions
There is this common notion that men are meant to be these hardened, tough, emotionless figures that aren’t scared of anything, and take on every challenge with bravery and honor. Ok, that’s great if you’re writing a Disney movie. However, real men have the same problems as the other gender. We get nervous. We fear rejection. We need affection. We want attention. We like affirmation. Blah blah blah blah blah. The reason I say that is because it’s honestly just not talked about. We live in a world where women will give other women compliments on their hair, shoes, nails, hug just because, etc. Women have this great support network of OTHER WOMEN. Men, on the other hand, get dap from their homie if they hit a 3 in a pickup basketball game. Then there is the proverbial “Where you get those kicks bruh…I like dose(because we all know when you’re around your friends those sounds more like dose)”. My point is that men are often forgotten.
We don’t need to be constantly coddled. Alright, some men do, but those dudes need manpons and don’t like football…so yea, forget them. They don’t count. We’re talking about your garden variety sons, brothers, nephews, uncles, cousins, boyfriends, or whatever the guy is to you. They need you. They need your positive reinforcement. Don’t assume they’re getting it somewhere else. Odds are, they aren’t. Because men only share things with men in their inner circle. Even that is usually reserved for larger life issues, or bigger accomplishments. We men don’t have many outlets. We don’t get many compliments. No one hugs us (trust me, most men like hugs. I don’t care what you say.). No one is there for us when we’re down, without it being a terrible situation. This is because we’re always the ones doing the fixing. This means that people assume that we don’t need it in return.
What makes carrying our burdens so stressful is that it’s 2016 and men’s emotions are still considered somewhat taboo. Allow me to use layman’s terms…Bruh, we feel things too. We are still human. Our jobs can be stressful. We don’t always have life figured out. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us it’ll be ok for a change.
Men, it’s not all on women either. We need to step up and check on our brothers. Brothers getting checked on; STOP SAYING YOU’RE FREAKIN’ FINE IF SOMETHING IS WRONG STUPID!! We can’t help if you don’t open your big mouth. Spit it out. You’d speak up about what kind of pizza you wanted. So don’t be quiet now! You’d be surprised how many people are willing to be there for you. Need something, ask. Feeling sad, tell somebody. We aren’t mind readers. We’re men, so you know we take things literally. We aren’t always as emotionally intuitive as women tend to be.
Woah woah woah…women, you’re not off the hook. See next paragraph.
Women, whether it’s your husband, fiancé, boyfriend, son, nephew, friend, or just one of those awkward persons you have that don’t really get a classification; be there for them. Sometimes we just need you next to us. Sometimes we need your affection. But be there, and be ALL there for those moments. Look, you won’t always feel like it. We don’t always feel like it either. Sometimes though, don’t say “I don’t feel like it.” Don’t say, “I’m too tired.” Don’t tell him, “Can’t one of your friends do that.” Just do it because you know it’ll make him happy. Women can be there for us in a way other men can’t. We lean on your for things we’ll never go to a man for. Don’t forget that. Sometimes you’re our lifeline more than we’d like to admit.
Think of it this way. We go to a job, in which we mostly get criticism. Whether constructive or not, our feedback is rarely just, “Good Job!” People don’t tell men as much as women they look nice. No one buys us drinks when we’re out. We don’t get hair compliments(well unless you have a great beard…which i sadly do not. It’s slightly above average on its best day). We just do stuff all day, then go home. Fairly void of the important social stimulation, affirmation, and compassion that is a base human need. It gets tiring. So any of this you can pour back into us is usually a big deal. Those moments make our day. Every. Single. Time.
Women if you have a significant other, and you know their love language; use it. We will appreciate you for it, and it will come back 10 fold. If it’s not a significant other, just try and make it personal and meaningful. We will get the gist and appreciate your effort.
“I’m not giving you permission to act like a little sorry bxtch. However, it wouldn’t do you harm to care more for your fellow man.”
Men. Compliment your bro’s. It’s not against man law, nor will your man card be revoked for being nice. Tell your bro if his barber did a good job on his hair cut. Let your bro know if his car looks super clean. Don’t be afraid to tell your bro’s you love them. We all know your closest friends aren’t friends, they’re family. So just be honest. The world is a lot better place when you have people to share it with and care for. I’m not giving you permission to act like a little sorry bxtch. However, it wouldn’t do you harm to care more for your fellow man.
All that being said, man or woman, take a little time out to love and care for humanity more. Care about your neighbor. Ask how someone’s day is, and take the time to listen if they need it. Give to those who can do nothing for you. Be there for people who don’t expect it. Just be nice. The world could use more love and kindness. If we all watch each other’s backs selflessly, we cease having to watch our own.
Spread positivity and love. Stay Thankful.