Choose SQL. Choose a relational model. Choose a vendor. Choose a product. Choose a storage engine. Choose a giant freaking sharded mess, replication delays, indexes, primary keys. Choose job security, tenure, benefits. Choose query analysis. Choose more indexes. Choose being yelled at by Charity Majors. Choose to forget IPv6. Choose VARCHAR(15) for IP address fields. Choose PagerDuty and wondering who you are at 3AM on a Sunday morning. Choose an open office plan watching your coworkers play foosball, stuffing catered lunch into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, taking a buyout, nothing but an embarrassment to your craft as your stock options expire worthless.

Choose your future.

Choose SQL.

With apologies to Paris Kasid.

Corey Quinn

Fixes your horrifying AWS bills. Public Speaker. Cloud Economist. Snappy dresser. Father.

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