I am looking down at that photo of me as a kid. Oh god! Was I so innocent. That was all before life slaps me in the face so many times. If you told that little boy, my present, what I’m living. If you had told me some years ago, that I would live this right now, I would probably have said :

« Now what ?! I give up »

If you had told that kid he would get a cancer at age 24, he would probably have cried and asked “will I die?”

Did you ever imagine being 24 with a cancer?

I know, a lot of people think that cancer is a disease that happens to older people. And you think, it happens to others, not yourself.

Well, strangely I don’t, I always felt, I don’t know why, that one day I would get cancer from a way or another. Now you may think I live like a fool, well, you couldn’t be more wrong. I’ve never smoked, I don’t drink much, I try to do sports as much as I can (I use to do more). May be I stress too much, may be their is too much pollution where I live. Who knows?

The medic told me, this disease just strikes randomly, some things may increase the risks but it’s mainly random, it is all in the genes. I was, and I am more genetically predisposed to the disease. Even though, there have been no history with this disease in my family.

What I would really love is to send this message: Men check your balls and Women check your breasts, at least once a month. I mean: really feel them, look for anything unusual! I’m telling you this cause what I have is a testicle cancer and it can be healed in 98% of cases if taken soon enough.

It’s weird for me to write those lines. I’ve been thinking many times over the past year that I want to enjoy my life, that I can’t keep living a life working for someone else, making someone else rich with no recognition. I want to write stories, poetry, articles. I want to travel the world and explore. I want to learn italian! And I’ve got so many things left on my bucket list.

Even if I’ll, most probably, be healed, just thinking that I may have to go through chemotherapy makes angry. I feel as if destiny was sending a message. I keep thinking that I don’t want to waste my life but I never act. I am 24 and I realize that too many times i’ve been a coward. Every time I think I learnt my lesson, but it is not enough yet. I’ll never be satisfied until I live my dreams, that’s for sure. I don’t want to get to my forties and looking back at my life, having regrets..

Every man dies, not every man really lives

I am kind of “happy” that this is happening now. I already made huge changes in my life, but I was again getting back in the trap. The everyday routine of my job, my car and my bed. Getting home tired, with only enough energy to play video games or watch TV Shows. Becoming someone sad and grumpy.

I mean, I am pretty sure that I’ve met the only woman that fits me. She is here for me, she will always support me, I love her so much, she is kindest person I know and I see myself travelling the world along her side (which is big for me). So I’ve got that part figured out. Now, I definitely want to stop being another brick in the wall. I need to act and stop thinking so much.

« Later, just a few more years »

Never had that thought? Cause years go by, and I’m already 24. That cancer hits on average from 15 to 30 year old men. What should have happen If I had encountered that when I was fifteen? Where would I be now?

I want you, if you are reading this story, to think just for a minute that you have cancer. I know it is not pleasant but trust me.

Go through all of the thoughts I’ve been through over the last weeks. Imagine medical exams showing a black spot within your body. Think about all the reactions of the persons close to you (and trust me you can’t really imagine that). Think about chemotherapy.

Now! Think about how your daily life issues seem just smallish. Ask yourself the following:

Have you realized at least half of your dreams ?

Do you like what you do for a living ?

To the things you hate, why don’t you do something?

If at least one of the answer to these question are as follow : “no”, “no” and “fear”. Then you should make things change!

Would you let someone slap you in the face everyday of your life and accept it? Probably not. If you don’t like something and keep letting it happen, it is the same, until you realize that you’ve lost precious time.

I know I sound very young and hopeless to you right now. But trust me, your life doesn’t need to be what society thinks it should be. Stick up for yourself and your life. You’re the only one responsible for what you do with your life.

I decided to not complain about why would life do that to me. I will fight this with all my strength, I will heal and I’ll live my life has I want it to be and this time I will really stick to the plan. The best advice I’ve been given in life and the best I’ll give you, is :

Stop Complaining and Act about it!

Because now on, I’ll be busy surviving and living. You should too!

Because, you may or may not have cancer like me, but living is about surviving to enjoy life now! Not when you don’t have time left!