People Always Leave
People always leave, it’s not a cliché, it’s true, it’s a fact. Every mother should tell this to their daughter, and every daughter to her son. I used to think that only some people left, every five years or so, when a relationship fades, when you haven’t really thought about them in a while. But people leave abruptly, like a sneeze during prayer time in church. They leave and they rip off your pulmonary artery on the way. They leave without warning, right after smearing shit all over the very pleasant memories you had together. People leave, and you are left alone, and nobody understands, because nobody has ever been you being left by that person before.
But we leave people too. And the blood from that precious artery we tore is stored underneath our fingernails, but we can’t see it. I bite my nails and the taste is sour, but I don’t remember why, I bite my nails and the taste is crude, I feel like I’ve forgotten something. Someone. One time I was going through some old notebooks and an artery fell out — I was very surprised. The blood was dry, of course, but I got black crumbles all over my lap. I felt bad for having ripped off such a precious organ. “I hope she is ok.” I brush the crumbs off my lap “What was her name again?”