Why I Wasn’t Hired

Finally, after being second or third in almost a dozen interviews for fairly decent positions around Columbus, Ohio I was able to obtain specifics as to why I wasn’t hired. This is actually slightly exciting as in the previous eleven failures I received not a single word response to my emails, letters, and calls requesting data I wanted use to interview better and/or improve my credentials in the future so as to gain proper employment and contribute to society.

Here it is: apparently, the nine faceless hollow heads who knew nothing about me decided in less than ten minutes that: 1) I wouldn’t be able to properly connect with stakeholders (this is actually a strength of mine). 2) They didn’t know “for sure” if I was joking when I used humor to respond to one of their dull checklist questions. 3) I was sweating too much.

That’s what’s wrong with me. Seriously. That’s it. People with no knowledge of how to successfully hire someone decided I couldn’t connect, my humor went over their heads, and I sweat in a stuffy hot room with nine pudgy pink pouches ceaselessly staring at me. If you notice their criticisms had nothing to do with professional standards, but merely were the result of their guesses about me, basically my likability in the moment according to their flawed and pathetic intuitions.

People hire people they like, want to be like, or feel superior to. They don’t hire for talent, skill, or potential. They hire off their whims and their whims directly sprout from their emotional brains. Later, they might use their rational brains to attempt to justify their emotional decision, but such stories are mere fabrications of the mind.

My assessment: The dudes didn’t like me because I am better looking, younger, and at least as smart as they are. The chicks didn’t like me because they wouldn’t be able to concentrate on their boring husbands with me around every day. It seriously is a curse to be a good looking man in my field, unless it’s one lady hiring, then my eyes will beat the house, but unfortunately women don’t have the power they deserve in this culture, yet, so such situations have been rare for me (only once, and yes, I got the job).

Fuck ’em. I don’t want to work with those hicks anyhow. Here’s to hoping some organization out there wants real talent. In the meantime, I’ll forge ahead. You should, too.