Sometimes, I Wonder.

I sometimes wonder what happens after — after you’re done working on your self, after you’ve read all the self-help books, and after you’ve learned to love yourself.

Because it also gets exhausting after a while, after you follow your passion and you’ve mastered the art of positive thinking

because you still go to bed alone.

You talk to a lot of people, but no one actually cares about the details.

You’re always surrounded by friends, but you always feel so empty.

You fill your days with things to do, and your nights with books to read.

You keep distracting yourself, as you live a life you never wished for.

And you try to be grateful, you try to understand that this is your calling,

that you’re meant to live this life for a reason, but sometimes you really don’t want it.

Sometimes you just want to sleep and wake up with no responsibilities.

Sometimes you want to wake up, next to someone you know you can never have.

Sometimes it feels like you have everything, but it also means nothing.

Sometimes it feels like you’re only putting on a show

and now..

you’re running out of ideas.

You sometimes wonder if you’re living a lie, because the reality that you want is not happening.

Working on yourself is becoming too much work, and sometimes you just want to quit.

Sometimes you just want to run away.

You miss being free.

Sometimes you want to disappear, and sometimes you want to be found.

But you always go back to working on yourself, because you know that if you stop, no one will do your job

and even if it’s draining every fiber of your being,

You’re the only one qualified for it.

tc-rn

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