Have been holding back the tears for the Sassoon family. The dam finally burst. My face is turned toward the window, speeding by a sun rising dutifully to my left on the 610 am Amtrak to New York…. Is every thing ok? No… A Tragic death…. “Oh …the fire she says knowingly…. Family…? “ Yes ma’am family …I’m fine thanks..”
No matter how deep within myself I search, I simply cannot fathom this. There is simply no inside place to go that would assist me in pinpointing an accurate emotion- thankfully, one that might even come close to capturing the tragic hellish proportions of this, rendering me without an authentic empathy.
Still….
I close my eyes and mentally lock this man in a hug, a stranger, but indeed every inch my brother — even if we aren’t actually related.
If I could, I would tell this man, this broken soul whom I’ve never actually met, that the whole world is praying for his wife and daughter. I would tell him that Klall Yisroel weeps for him. I might work up the courage to tell him that the Shechinah won’t stop crying till that day… that our prophets promised …. “Oomacha Hashem deema may all kol panim … When G-d himself will dry the ocean — filled with the accumulated tears of mankind, flowing from the swelled rivers of our collective human sorrow.
Right now I grab the straps of my Tefilin and pull myself back up to safety at the surface. I hear myself uttering these words again and again …. “Moidim anachnu lach ……Moidim anachnu lach!” Thank you HaShem for this day. Grant me the mindfulness to know this- fill me with the Chochmah — deep existential knowing to never ever forget this — to live with this truth.
In a state of perpetual gr(e)atefulness.
For this moment. For my life. For my family. For our health. For the chance to sing and dance. For the chance to smile at the miracle of our children and marvel over and over again at the abundant goodness.
Today I vow to grab my life as well — because I can, nay because I must ….wrapping it too, into the crook of that same warm tight embrace.
Much Love
Rabbi Yossi
