I miss all my grandparents in their own way. But today I really miss her. I’ve been working on a project about her senior living community, and am floored by how hijacked I am. By what she meant to me and what she represented. Continues to represent. Continuity. Stability. Dignity. Doing things properly and in the right order.

What did my grandmother mean to me?

She meant being gracious and having a spine of steel. She never asked anything unreasonable, but she got what she wanted.

She was a genuine lady as the word was meant.

She was always there for me.

She set the example her entire life of having money and living modestly. When I cleaned out her condo after she moved into the Alzheimer’s facility, she owned nothing that couldn’t easily be given away. Everything she owned was nice and she’d had for years. She bought one thing of quality and never bought a new one.

Only the fact that she had lived in a seaside assisted living community would let on that she was anything but middle class. She drove American cars.

I have an image of her as the consummate hostess with perfect posture.

She went to the club for lunch and she played golf. But she didn’t travel, didn’t wear extravagant clothing, didn’t splurge for anything but paying for everyone when we ate out. We would take overnight trips around Florida.

She did sit-ups every morning and swam everyday.

She was supportive of those around her. She made every man she sat next to feel like the most special person on the planet without making their wives feel threatened. That being said, she also picked her company well. If you were pill, you probably wouldn’t be invited back.

Her favorite breakfast was English muffins and her favorite lunch was tuna sandwiches with pickle juice added to the mix.

She looked after my great uncle long after most widows would have felt their obligation had run out.

I wish everyone in my family was like her. But they are all basically Yankees, and she was a true Southern Belle. Probably the smartest thing my grandfather ever did was marry her.

She’s the reason I moved to Florida. I wanted to be as gracious as she was. I wanted to be able to take everything I learned from her and apply it in my own life.

I loved how dismissive she was of so many things. Computers? Who has time to learn all that? Politics? It’s a dirty business that no respectable person should be involved in. Rude people? Throw them out with the trash. Television rarely. Movies sometimes.

She was in complete control and could put someone in their place with a glance.

I miss my grandmother everyday. And continue to emulate her, hoping that setting even a small example makes a difference.