Why I just dropped $300 on glassware for my kitchen…..

This week, I’ve spent $300 on new drinking glasses (tumblers) and some fine bone china. 8 months ago I was outed as a reformed shopaholic. Perhaps I’ve regressed?

I can tell you all sorts of reasons why this was a rational decision.

It’s coming up to 30 June, which means it was on sale. Who doesn’t love a bargain! Do you know how much I saved!

I was worried about where I’d put them in my kitchen. Then I realised I don’t drink as much alcohol anymore. That means I can put away some of the wine glasses to make room. That’s good for my health, surely?

Keeping on the storage theme, they look beautiful. Hence this is a low cost way of redecorating my kitchen, where I spend a lot of time. Surely that makes sense?

All of these reasons can sound perfectly sensible. It’s time for some honesty. None of this is the real story.

Tomorrow afternoon I have a group of ladies from church coming over for afternoon tea. It’s something we do every couple of months, it’s my first time at hosting this group.

Being a planner, I had already sourced some fine bone china for the event. One of the ladies inherited it from her grandmother, she’s bringing it over.

That doesn’t change my subconscious desire to win their approval and to fit in. What would they think of me if my crockery wasn’t up to scratch? My emotive mind (I think that’s the limpic brain) has decided this is a way to solve that problem. That part of my mind won out.

The tumblers are Royal Doulton. That must be good! That’ll do the trick……

Is this fear rational? Probably not. It is extremely likely I could use paper cups and none of them would care. That doesn’t change the self talk that goes on in my head.

The entire retail industry (especially home decorating) relies on that self talk.

I am also launching a new online product next week. This is something I’ve wanted to do for 7 years (and have had several goes at in various different forms). It’s a big deal!

That means I’ve been riding an emotional roller coaster all week. It started on Tuesday. By Wednesday morning my brain decided to wake me up around 6am (the middle of the night for me in winter) and tell me all about it.

I thought it was a panic attack, this time around it felt a little bit different. I’m told excitement and mild anxiety are the same chemical reaction in our bodies. After talking to my coach, we’ve now reframed it as an “excitement” attack. Much better!

I don’t do excitement. I’m level and calm, at all times! That’s not actually true, it’s the mask I’ve developed since I was 3. It’s so entrenched it’s hard to shift. So I’m not sure how well “excitement attack” sits with me but will percolate that a little longer……

The fine bone china is a modern twist on an old world theme. It’ll be a beautiful addition to my kitchen. My emotive brain felt much better after I’d decided to buy it. It even dealt with the hell of 3pm school traffic to buy it with relative equanimity. Now that’s saying something!

Naturally, the roller coaster ride is back again today. The “hit” only lasts for a short time.

So I confess. I have regressed. Apparently confession is good for the soul :).