My First Harassment
In Brazil and Mexico, women are opening up on social media about sexual harassment and abuse
It started in Brazil, last October. On social media, men made misogynistic, sexual comments about a 12-year-old girl competing on the local version of the MasterChef TV show, spurring an international outcry.
In response, Juliana de Faria — a Brazilian journalist and founder of feminist group Think Olga — started the hashtag #primeiroassedio, or #firstharassment, inspiring Brazilian women to share their own stories of sexual harassment and abuse.
Now, a similar movement is happening in Mexico: women are sharing their stories under the #MiPrimerAcoso hashtag, meaning #MyFirstHarassment. The hashtag, which went viral last weekend, coincided with a march against gender violence in Mexico City.
Here are translations of stories Mexican women have shared this week on Medium.
Alexandra Ximenez recalls her first harassment: she was six, and a man grabbed her behind. She also recalls incidents when she was seven, eleven, and thirteen, and beyond — “in the subway, in the street, at school, at the office, the supermarket, in a parking lot,” she writes.
“When I was 11, I was walking down the street with my parents when I suddenly heard someone shout something as I passed by, but I didn't understand what he said. Then, I see my dad punching a guy in the face and leaving him on the ground. My mother hugged me and I just began to cry. I had never seen my father act that way. What remained engraved in my memory was the phrase: 'No, you bastard. You don't say that to a child. She is my daughter, you son of a…' I was confused. I cried all the way home.”
Tania Tagleremembered the first time she was sexually assaulted. She was nine.
“The first time a man touched me without my consent was when I was nine years old. He was a drunk relative who I have fortunately only had to see two other times since. “You're very pretty,” he said as he reached inside my blouse. I ran away, and then I threw up. To date, my family doesn't know.”
As an adult, she survived domestic abuse.
“The first time a man hit me I was 24 years old and 5 months pregnant. We'd argued about some domestic matter, I don't even remember what. But I remember the burning in my shins because of the kicks and black bruises that filled me with shame.
And I said enough.
And I said this is not normal.
It's never been normal.
And I saved myself.”
carla aguilard wrote about surviving a sexual assault while walking to work in Mexico City.
“Many of us women always think about how we'd react if we were in this kind of situation. I always thought I'd scream, run, or bite whatever I had to. But when it happens it's different from what we all think. As a psychologist told me, our reaction happens as a result of how we believe we can best escape the situation...
…In the end I was able to move on with my life, little by little. That's why I can walk around the city again, since I see in it an act of rebellion and resistance to what had happened to me. Because I could once again walk in the city when so many other women haven't been able to, and haven't even managed to survive.”
Pé was molested by her uncle when she was 11. He later molested another niece, and then Pé's sister. And then, as an adult, harassment became the norm.
“Years later, living alone in Mexico City, I had to experience various types of harassment, from the taxi driver who looks at you lewdly and says things to you, street catcalls, a guy on a bike who smacks your ass, or even a guy on a pedestrian bridge taking advantage of the darkness of the winter time change who blocked my hands and started kissing me and biting me. It was among the the most terror, nerves and uncertainty I've experienced. I'm thankful that at different stages in my life I've studied self-defense and it paid off: I could hit him with his own strength, break free and run.”
When oyemejoey was groped on the bus, her assailant smiled at her. Later, the one person she told showed no sympathy.
“I held back my tears and didn't say anything to anyone — just my boyfriend at the time, who replied: 'I didn't think that kind of thing happened to fat girls.'”
Bea Ortiz Wario revealed she'd been fired from a teaching job after speaking out against the school's principal, who'd repeatedly harassed her and other female colleagues.
“The reason forgetting fired? 'A bad attitude.' I beg your pardon, did I hear that right? 'Yeah, look, I have dozens of applicants, and they may not be as capable as you, but I'd rather they know less but have a better attitude.' She refused to say more, and I didn't want to beg.
In the street, the janitor quietly asked me if my firing had anything to do with [the principal]. I was stunned. She said he always hired teachers who he liked, to flirt with them. I almost cried when I said yes, but at the same time I felt freed, which lasted about ten days, and then I fell into a deep depression.”
Eileen Truax wrote about the range of harassment she's faced, ranging from getting hit on by a congressman as a political reporter to constant street harassment.
“My son was eight and we went to the supermarket two blocks from home. On the way back, he walked on the inside of the sidewalk while I walked on the side closest to the road, both hands carrying bags. A car passed us, slowed down so it was sidling almost next to me, and a guy reached out through the window and grabbed my buttock. While I had hands full. While I was with my son.”
Alejandra Vergara can't remember the first time she was harassed, but she remembers so many other times.
“I do remember that stranger who got off at the same bus stop as me and walked next to me for five blocks asking if I wanted to get to know him even though I had said no maybe three thousand times. What I do remember is the guy, also a stranger, who grabbed me off my feet and held me in a dark corner while I went into the bathroom and told me, very amused, that he wouldn't let me go unless I gave him a kiss (I also remember how my companion that night told me I was overreacting and he did not understand why I wanted to leave if we were there to have a good time). And so, while not I don't remember my first harassment, I can keep on remembering and remembering.”
A big thank you to the women who allowed me to translate their stories.
