Love, Loss and Alzheimer’s Disease

Watching a loved one succumb to a degenerative disease is a heartbreaking experience. The acceptance of continual loss is near impossible, and this is made painfully clear with Alzheimer’s disease.

We are well versed in meeting the needs of those with physical ailments. The dying are made ‘as comfortable as possible’ in their final chapter of life; loved unconditionally as their bodies slow to a halt. Nurturing the failing mind has proven a more complex task, particularly when the body remains deceptively able. Dementia is unforgiving. It robs one of their ability to communicate; their autonomy.

There are no textbooks to tell you how Alzheimer’s will affect the individual; whose name will be lost first and which words will evade recollection. The only part of this disease I can understand with absolute clarity is the contempt I feel for it, as I watch a little bit of my grandfather fade every day. Ignoring Alzheimer’s is not an option, nor is it fair on the sufferer. Choosing accepting the disease is an act of power. Yes, my grandfather is changing. He no longer has the ability to read a book, hold a conversation about politics, or write a shopping list. His memories have changed, but he can still love and experience every emotion with the same vividness.

Though, on occasion, my grandad is lost for words, the warmth of his smile, the strength of his embrace and the purity of the love in his eyes remains as it always has. Someone told me that my grandfather was a great engineer. I corrected them; he is a great engineer. Not even Alzheimer’s can take away his incredible life story- he owns that. Though the world may be falling out of focus around him, my grandfather is still the profoundly intelligent, wickedly funny and deeply loving man I have always known.