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The Fair Weather Friend

She is described as someone who wants to be there only during the good times. Someone who can only be depended on during the times when the going is good. Just during the happy times. Moments of Joy. Bliss.

But, what is wrong about that?

When did you last make friends to hear that person’s deepest, darkest, possibly violent or embarrassing secret? Oh, I know you. The you that says, when I like someone, I want to hear all their joy and sadness. Yes. “When you know someone” but, how does one decide to one someone?

Why did you choose to be friends only with a particular person from the group of people floundering around? Perhaps, they were the first who smiled at you as you entered that classroom, or they offered to exchange notes with you, or they were funny, popular, intelligent or as Tony Robbins says: “People want to be with people who are like themselves or whom they want to be like”.

But how many became friends with someone because they like the way someone cried, the way their chest heaved up and down with so much with emotion that it is like lifting a weight, those tears that well up and make your face scrunched just like the Kim K pic we all love to meme, or the inevitable nose leaks that happen to everyone who cries. No?

Tell me if you would want to be friends with her if you saw her this way the very first time.

Well, of course, I would try to go comfort them, say the sensitive souls among the one’s reading this. Obviously. You feel some sympathy, empathy, and you want to help them. Mostly, it is going to be what happened (meaning stop crying), then (well, stop crying) and then say some lame joke or usually used comfort phrase to get them to smile (basically to stop crying).

In reality, aren’t all friends, fair weather friends?

When all our efforts as human are to avoid pain and suffering, why are we really surprised about the ‘fair weather’ friend? In reality, aren’t all friends, fair weather friends? If a relationship goes through a phase beyond reconciliation, we teach that it is better to part ways as understanding, self-respecting adults. Yet, why do we not teach that for friendships?

The minute a friendship goes sour, people don’t say, “Oh, they just grew apart” or “Their ideas have changed over the years” or “They mistook what they meant to each other”. It’s always the, “She was never a real friend anyway” or “True friends won’t blah blah whatever”.

Oh yeah, she wasn’t a good friend!

What is this double standard? Why can’t friends grow apart and still be, you know friends? Or acquaintances, maybe.