About five years ago I had a dream that I was diagnosed with crystalline poisoning.
The word crystalline struck me through to my bones like a cold wind. I actually had to look it up as I thought it might be a nonsense word that my unconscious had just made up.
I’d legitimately never consciously heard of the word before, & the impression that dream left cut me in half in a very stark way. Where one half was screaming I KNOW THIS & the other was like wtf. this is nonsense.
I started seeing the word crystalline everywhere after that. & mostly within spiritual circles & discourse that made me wince abit, tbh.
It was all a bit too outlandish for me lol.
Like, the mind is surely just making that stuff about soul stars & crystalline DNA up to entertain itself because it’s bored by the mundanity of this planet? & this felt to me to be especially likely, having been chronically disappointed with “reality” & addicted to escape for my entire life up until at that point.
It took me a long time to accept that the language of light exists for a reason, & with good reason. It has taken me until now to even talk about it because I am now officially one of those people.
Just over two years ago, the day before going into an iboga ceremony, I was talking to another member of group & she was telling me about a Polynesian energy/bodywork modality called lomi lomi massage & how members of the ancient culture it was indigenous to are believed to be direct descendants of Pleiadian beings. The moment she said it my whole body responded. I distinctly remember having a sense that one side — my left side I think — sort of lit up & shimmered.
There is a phenomenon that about half the human population have where you have a physical, shiver-like reaction to music. The response was a lot like that. & that stark split made itself known again. One part practically quivering in recognition & the other like: err no. don’t be weird.
It was weird.
& it was also one of those things that I didn’t focus on that much at the time, but it remained in the shallows of my immediate memory.
Sometime after that weekend, I was listening to a song by a piano composer called Lubomyr Melnyk & had this inexplicable hunch that what I was listening to was not of earthly origin. I saw — & felt — deep space listening to it. I dunno how else to put it.
It was both viscerally close to me & also so far-out my mind felt like it was tremoring. I can’t listen to it without becoming swollen with a very specific kind of grief that has that same paradox embedded within it; so, so close yet ludicrously distant, as though from another galaxy.
I played it once while my brother was visiting a while ago & I noticed him playing it on his phone a year or so later. I’d forgotten I’d even shoen him it. I am thirteen years his senior & like most older siblings I have often attempted to force my music preferences on him — mostly to very little avail, hah.
Back in 2015 A few days before I got married, I had a night of extremely vivid dreams, one after the other. One that has stayed with me was my brother & I meeting in the middle of space, joining hands & flying through the stars towards earth.
Almost a year after the ceremony, I lay down to sleep one night & wound up falling into a very deep trance. By pure chance I caught myself at the halfway point between wakefulness & sleep & was held there, completely lucid, for some time. The visions were almost as vivid as they were after a flood-dose of iboga & I saw the faces of many people beaming up one after the other. They all had blue skin.
I “slept” the whole night in this visionary state. The next day my mind was completely silent & time briefly slowed all the way down. Much like after the ceremony.
The mind is very good at connecting dots to support its narrative / delusion. Very, very good. & this dot connecting can be a blessing or a curse depending on the state of the nervous system supporting it. I hold these pieces lightly & I share them purely because they have stayed with me. I hold them lightly and also I trust what I am shown, because what I have experienced over & over again, is that there is immense wisdom in what remains in the shallows of our immediate memory, ready to be beamed up at the right moment. Especially when it is supported by a healthy nervous system. It is guided & it is purposeful. It shows us exactly what we need to know.
So much of my path & life’s work has been de-coding & re-coding my nervous system, & 90% of that has been coming back from being on another planet, not flirting with the idea that some fragment of what makes up the sum-total of me might actually not be from this planet hahah. & yet through all of my ambivalence towards my own, direct, bodily experience & straight up distaste for the discourse that surrounds it, IT follows me.
In fact, the more deeply I sink back & down into this physical, earthly body, the more present I get, the more rooted I become, the closer to me it appears to edge. The connections form & some part of me is intent on casting their eyes downward while the other cannot peel itself away.
There is no story attached to it. & I think this is where a lot of the discussion gets caught up & distorted; in the ego taking on its new identity as some kind of ~inter-galactic high priestess~ & it is such a distraction. So, beyond the fantasy of hashtag starseed royalty, I wanna come out about what I feel & see & know to be true.
There is a thing called the crystal body.
The crystal body is an often dormant overlay, waiting to awaken inside / through the human. Its awakening is characterised by a gradually quickening oscillation & as it quickens, material is dislodged.
It hurts. It is physically & mentally uncomfortable, sometimes very painful. But I think it definitely gets easier when the person is a full yes.
I was guided to a teacher who worked with frequency for a reason. & let me tell you, I was very fucking ambivalent to working with her for some time. I had a lot of resistance. One part screaming I KNOW THIS & the other with their fingers in their ears.
(Hilariously, I messaged her after literally hearing her modality being whispered in my ears in a half asleep state one night.)
Frequency work awakens the crystal body. It clears the decks & anchors light. Enough light for dormant DNA & the gnosis within it to come back online.
The crystal body is like a sun catcher. Every facet — every fragment of the truth that makes up the whole — is clear. As in, light can pass through it, & therefore information.
& the information is for that of the dawn & anchoring of a new age. A new era.
Since MUSE dropped in, I have been seeing prisms & refracted light everywhere. Almost every day, several times a day.
The “ADHD” diagnosis, among others, is what is commonly thrown at those for whom the oscillation is intensifying. It is in part, the internal disturbance (i.e trauma) of perceiving the spiralling nature of things, while being thrust into an environment & culture that only speaks the language of linearity.
& the language of light is anything but.
It is everything, everywhere, all at once.
(if you’ve seen that film know that I reference it for a reason!)
MUSE exists to facilitate the oscillation & translate the light refracting through the human. It is the living artistry of becoming the sun catcher. & integral to this process is the regaining of full autonomy over our attention & of where it is placed.
Powerful direction of attention is a disturbingly overlooked skillset & is the key to true power & self-mastery.
Powerful direction of attention — the (imperfect) practice of it — is what brings us into true connection. The opposite of it is addiction.
So that dream I had about crystalline poisoning? Even back then when I was way more sceptical than I am now, I had no doubt that I was being asked to get to the bottom — to the deepest root — of the plethora of addictive & destructive patterns that I have entertained, some of which since I was as young as six.
In the years that followed since that dream, I began shedding at a much faster rate. In the last twenty four months, even faster. If you have been paying attention to my shares, you will know that I have been tracking more closely what has been shifting at a physical level since last Autumn, as frequency vibrates through me at a deeper level. Since I became a full yes.
A few weeks ago, I had a dream that I was talking with an old mentor. In the dream she said: Your old body is dead. You have your new one now. & looked at me as if to say but you know that, right?
As she said it, I felt that cold wind strike through me again. It knocked me lucid & as I went lucid I tried to badger her for more information. I was awake before she had a chance to respond.
When MUSE first dropped in I heard a whisper in my ear while stirring out of sleep.
Days later I got a hit that my piano practice had something to do with it.
A day after that I stumbled upon a piece of art — a man playing a grand piano with a woman bathing in the top of it. The piece was called MUSE.
I did not “get it” & yet I also really, really did.
& that same split cracked down the centre of me. Deep resonance & fearful rejection. My attention divided.
I decided it was “too advanced”
cue a period of trying to do what I preferred.
& the consequences of opting for my preference wound up pulling out at the root a distortion that was keeping me from *fully* devoting myself to what is truly alive.
Earlier this week I burst into laugh-sobs in the car as a split-second download — another cold wind — struck me: that this willingness to throw myself at the altar of the thing regardless of whether I fully understand it & regardless of the outcome, is an expression of the deepest possible care & highest possible regard that I can have for myself.
Anything less than that is to neglect my soul, at a fundamental level.
MUSE is an open enrollment — apply anytime.
1:1 & group option.
There is an application & all of the information is on it. Info & apply via the bio.
The bitter/sweet transmission is also a GREAT introduction. you can purchase that via the bio as well.
