Bringing Gratitude Back

A PM’s Perspective

Recently, I attended a seminar given by a fellow project manager (PM) during which the speaker emphasized the “hotness” factor of the project management field. His take on the subject was a bit tongue-in-cheek — the presentation may have contained flames, drag queens, and feather boas (I love San Francisco!) — but his perspective was interesting. While you may not feel particularly glamorous in your current PM position, the expertise required for the role necessitates characteristics associated with hotness: confidence, impeccable presentation, and that special something.

For some, that special something may be related to personal performance — your projects are always ahead of schedule and below budget, or you’re well-recognized as a strong leader or negotiator. However, if you haven’t quite found your special something yet (or even if you have), give gratitude a try.

If you’re not sure what that means or struggle to see how you can bring gratitude back to your workplace, consider the following:

Be In the Moment

Perhaps you find gratitude to be a bit of a delayed reaction. Sandra’s prompt feedback on that budget projection you sent to her in June—you remember in December. The extra hours Ravi put in to provide that deliverable you requested on-time—why say thank you? Ravi’s job is to do his job, which means getting you the information you need as requested: on time. Right?

After herding cats, extinguishing fires, and ensuring everyone is playing nicely together in the sandbox—never mind the project charters, resources plans, and timelines—who has time for gratitude?

You do.

And if you don’t think you do, make the time. I mean, seriously, how long does it take to actually say the words “thank you”? Maybe 3 seconds on a bad day? So say it, say it often, and mean it when you say it. Plus, you will find that even if you feel like you’ve missed the moment, expressions of gratitude do not have an expiration date.

Use the Tools You Have (or Request Some New Ones)

Gratitude is not something that requires balloons and a bullhorn. Sometimes, it really is enough to send a simple e-mail or make a quick phone call in which you provide a clear statement indicating why you are grateful for a specific team member’s contribution.

Hi Marc, I just wanted to say thanks for the way you led the conversation during our meeting today. Your willingness to ask challenging questions really helped the team reassess their strategic approach to the project.

Simple. Straightforward. Sincere.

At other times, it may be more appropriate to express your gratitude in a more substantial way. Many companies provide employees with opportunities to reward fellow colleagues for a job well done. It could be a laminated certificate, a gift card, a spot bonus, or a write up on your company’s intranet site. Research such opportunities and make use of them. Don’t allow these perks to go to waste, particularly when you are working with high-performing teams whose baseline work ethic is high performing. No one likes to be taken for granted. And if such opportunities for expressing gratitude aren’t currently offered at your workplace, be the person to suggest such a program.

Additionally, consider taking the time to regularly thank your entire team. Small gestures of gratitude, such as coffee, snacks, or lunch, go a long way in building team morale. If you feel like your team has been under performing—perhaps they are behind schedule, over budget, and defensive—just take a step back and evaluate the situation. Regardless of how your team is performing on the whole, there is always at least one thing a team is doing well. Call attention to that one thing with gratitude.

Share the Love

Often, we treat expressions of gratitude as a game of bureaucratic battleship where accolades for one somehow sink the ego of another. Unfortunately, this attitude can provide us with excuses to sidestep gratitude all together. Alternatively, if we choose to say thank you, we do so in private as a strategic maneuver to ensure everyone’s egos remain intact.

Perhaps this is an appropriate way to handle a given situation. However, while you may not choose to say thanks to a key contributor in front of the entire team, remember that it’s important to share the recognition with colleagues who may monitor performance. If you’ve thanked Li in person for her exceptional leadership of the project team, would it hurt to send a quick e-mail message to her manager, and perhaps her manager’s manager, reiterating her positive contributions?

You can also consider making use of social networking tools as a means to share gratitude on a larger scale. That quick e-mail you sent to Manuel’s boss praising his performance — you could just copy and paste that note as a recommendation to post to Manuel’s LinkedIn account. See, it’s simpler than you think!

Never Stop Learning

As you begin to test out how best to show gratitude in your workplace, the following books may prove helpful:

How to Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie

Although this book is deemed a classic, I’ve been surprised by how many of my PM colleagues have never read it. This comprehensive book highlights the nuances of social interaction through historical and personal examples, which demonstrate how impeccable people-skills can improve not only the outcome of your interactions, but how you feel about your work. A key principle: “Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.” Note: sincerity and gratitude go hand-in-hand.

Mastery at Work, by Nicole Grace

I have no idea why more people aren’t reading and talking about this book. A hidden gem, Mastery at Work can help shake you out of your own funk — regardless of whether you’re looking for that first job, or you’re an accomplished professional with 20 years of experience. The book focuses on three major topics — soft skills, professional skills, and continuous improvement — pathways the author also refers to as the lotus, the sword, and the circle. By examining and developing these skill sets, everyone has the ability to find fulfillment in their work. Each chapter offers exercises that can help shift your perspective on how you view yourself and your work. By knowing how you operate— what motivates you, what makes you tick, and why you do what you do— you’re able to bring more of the best of yourself to your work—like gratitude.

Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success, by Adam M. Grant, Ph.D.

Published in April 2013, Give and Take is a relative newbie on the market and can serve as a great starting point for understanding how you and those around you choose to function in an organizational environment—something the author calls your reciprocity style. The three major reciprocity styles are categorized as takers, matchers, and givers, with givers further subdivided into selfless givers and otherish givers. The author compiles years of comprehensive research looking at organizational psychology and presents the information using real-life examples of well-known and not-so-well-known individuals who are takers, matchers or givers. Through his research, the author explains in a simple, engaging manner how you can be a giver without being a doormat, and find career success and personal fulfillment along the way.

Ultimately, it really doesn’t matter if you’re a PM, a project team lead, or a team member. We can all make an effort to bring gratitude back into our places of work.

Remember:

Gratitude — Show it, show it often, and mean it when you show it. Why? Because, why not?

How do you show gratitude in the workplace — please share your thoughts below or send them via e-mail to rae.uddin@gmail.com.