Welcome to Mommt land/ Part (1)

iRay
iRay
Jul 30, 2017 · 6 min read

During my first 45 days as a new mother, I spent A LOT of time reading every single platform and articles about newborns. I was overwhelmed with the amount of information out there, when it hit me that there are plenty of things I am either not aware of or didn’t know matter and a lot of learning to do. That’s when I decided to start this project and build a platform of my own, with the help of experienced and new mothers as well, to help who are in need and those who seeking slight guidance all in one place.

Because no child is like the other, each mother shares, with her own words, her valuable experiences according to what she personally has gone through, advice she took and what she witnessed. I have asked these mothers the same questions and gave them their time to answer. I gathered the common answers, including mine, to showcase, in numbers, what these mothers (without names) have feared, talked about the most, wanted, and done. And highlighted their sayings, opinions, beliefs (with names).

So if you are a mother or a mother-to-be, I say Welcome to Mommy land, and happy read.

Here’s part (1).

Fears & concerns

My first question was “What were your fears and concerns during your pregnancy(-ies) and postpartum?”

Answer: Top 5 fears and concerns in ascending order

1. the baby’s health

2. Breastfeeding

3. Coping with life after the delivery.

4. epidural

5. Natural birth vs. cesarean

We, all 7 participants and myself, have agreed that our babies’ health and bringing a healthy baby to this world, was our utmost concern throughout the pregnancy days. We didn’t miss any check-up and ultrasound appointment nor hesitate to run any and all required tests, and were extra-cautious with every step and move we took, however we weren’t exactly relived until our due-dates and each one of us carried her little miracle between her arms.

Some of these mommies, were more worried than others, due to certain circumstances they have faced. So, the health and develop of their fetus was of major concern throughout the pregnancy. But it didn’t stop after delivery, and continued to be of their top priority that they had to watch their babies’ growth development go as expected, because the surroundings of a mother, directly affect her and therefore her baby (indirectly).

Breastfeeding.

5 out of the 7 participants, had breastfeeding as their second worry. They were seriously thinking and reading all about it before their due-dates, in hopes to be prepared to breastfeed on the very first day/s. One thing about breastfeeding, it is absolutely challenging; it, by all means, needs patience. And no matter how prepared you are, it still going to be challenging. Is the baby full? How can I know? How much time should each BF-session take? I just fed him/her, why are they crying? And just when your baby falls asleep after 2 hours of BF, and you getting ready to sleep yourself feeling fulfilled your role as a mother, they spit up the milk and start crying for more..

>> Signs that your baby is full;

1. They fall asleep. When they are full, they sleep for longer hours. In their first few days and weeks, they should sleep between 2–3 hours straight. During feeding sessions (whether breast milk or formula) newborns tend to fall asleep, so you should make sure to wake them up, by poking and touching their foreheads, cheeks, chins or by moving their arms in circular motions, to make sure they have their full meal.

*Personally, it took me a long while to understand this. My baby used to fall asleep, but not for long, so I thought he doesn’t necessarily of the type who sleeps for long stretches. Boy, was I wrong.

2. Wet and dirty diapers. Newborns’ diapers usually need to be changed after every meal. It is better to keep track of this and watch for the color of the poo/pee.

3. Your baby is feeding at least six to eight times a day (on average).

4. Your breasts feel softer and less full after feeds.

5. You can see your baby swallow while he is feeding.

>> Other signs;

1. Your baby is gaining weight. Should be determined by first check-ups at his/her appointments with your pediatrician, and should regain their birth weight when they are 14 days old.

2. Your baby looks a healthy colour. But if your baby’s skin becomes more yellow, instead of less, after the first week, then they are not getting enough milk.

3. Your baby is alert when awake. But if your baby is sleepy for most of the time and you have to wake him to feed, then they are not getting enough milk.

*Breastfeeding and Formula feedings will be discussed in depth in another blog post.*

Once pregnancy days were over and we gave birth to healthy babies, we were moved to our rooms to rest, and the real struggle started, we had to face our postpartum fears; breastfeeding*, comforting a crying baby and the non-stop crying sessions (oh, they are TOTALLY different), putting a fussy baby to sleep, colic, bath time, vaccinations, comforting a full-clean baby (just tell me what you want, baby), but what was the cherry on top; we had to do all of that, and more, while sleep-deprived.

Coping with life after the delivery.

It’s not a secret that most mothers, if not all and including me, have thought about this and were fearful of the coming changes waiting us. How will we be able to take care of (not limited to) a baby, SO, our house, job and above all ourselves. The reason I put ourselves as a priority, is that if we are not taking good care of ourselves (eating well, having good sleep and resting, passing the postpartum blues and personal hygiene, ..) we will not be able to fully and rightly take care of everybody and everything else.

Will your routine change? Yes. Specially in the beginning, but then you will develop a new routine you will get the hang of. Will having a baby get you closer with your husband? Most likely. You will face hard times and you will want to seek help but at the same time struggling while asking for a hand as you are the independent woman you are. Will you be able to take care of a baby on your own? Absolutely. Because by the end of the day, you are going to be on your own one day, when one simple task such as changing a diaper will lead to fun bath time, which might lead to another bath and putting crying-for-some-reason baby to sleep, and in the end, you will realize you have done all that by yourself.

Last but not least, I was beyond happy when I had finished gathering all the information and answers and it came to my attention that neither of the participated mothers, made any comment or showed any concern about gaining weight and how long would it take to get back into shape, missing their lives before motherhood had kicked-in. The reason I am pointing this out, is because I gave these 2 issues a thought, but ditched them after a while because honestly, we have much more important matters to worry about, precious mother-baby moments to enjoy and cherish, and a baby to take care of. Everything comes in time.

Ray, x

*If you wish to join and be part of this project, whether discussing a certain topic or have another saying on the discussed topics, feel free to send me an email to raghadmu@gmail.com*

iRay
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