With Her I Belonged…

This one is not fiction… this one is about my beautiful mommy…

I am grateful…

I had a mommy from heaven, and she went back there… She tolerated it all, she understood and felt my heart beats when they’d beat unevenly, she felt it when I was down, sad, or just disappointed or feeling the “non-belonging” I felt so many times in life, I always felt I belonged when I stayed with her and papy to watch tv, I felt “safe” and “peaceful” at heart, for she accepted me: just as I am, with my craziness, my extreme sensitivity, with my ups and downs… And when I was down or not ok she used to wipe my tears off my face and made everything seem ok! I grew up, was taught (like most girls) to be strong and independent, to learn that one should take care of herself first to be able to take care of others, and that no one will take care of you…

I was always so scared of the day where she was to go back and I stay here… And I still am grateful I was blessed with her all that time of my life… People “advice” or “tell what to do”, very few “simply understand in silence” and I am utterly grateful for your presence in my life and for your empathy and unconditional understanding, without advising, without shoulds and shouldn’ts, without being tired for me, and “telling” me: you know better than that! You should see someone or seek help!

Rest in peace beautiful mommy, rest in peace and mercy of the Most Merciful lovely Mariam, may you be with the ones you loved who preceded you there and with Our Lady Mariam, Amen. Until we meet again…