Year 28: Lessons On Lessons

Randi Gloss
Nov 1 · 3 min read

What the heck was 2018?

I came to the realization that 2018 was the year that I had to move through the world without my grandma. Losing her changed me in ways I’m still figuring out. I’ve found new strength, courage & boldness within me. Softness too.

But before coming to that realization, I was nottttt feeling it.

My 28th birthday was hardly a celebration. Something felt off & I couldn’t place it until November 3rd, the day after my birthday.

I’d received a gracious amount of calls, texts & messages on my birthday but something felt off. Something — someone — was missing.

My grandma, Patsy Lee, died between Thanksgiving and Christmas the year before.

December 13, 2017. We buried her nine days later on the 22nd.

I’d watched her fade away for over a year without realizing that she was indeed dying. The last three weeks of her life were spent in Georgetown Hospital’s ICU, with a tube down her throat for nearly two of those weeks, unable to speak. We ate out on Thanksgiving that year, just a few minutes from the hospital. We did not decorate for Christmas.

And so, just shy of a year later, I felt hollow on my birthday. Loved yet not full.

After spending some time out with my friends on the 3rd, I looked around —

I don’t want to be here.

If I could’ve apparated, I would’ve but instead hurried through hugs & goodbyes.

As soon as I got home, I called my mom. I cried.

Grandma was not around to wish me a happy birthday.

I just wanted to hear her voice.


Lessons from My 28th Year of Life

  1. Grief is inconvenient.
  2. Grief doesn’t care about what you planned to do, who you planned to see or when your deadlines are.
  3. Grief comes in waves.
  4. You’re not who you used to be.
  5. Growth is a slow, meticulous process.
  6. God remains forgiving.
  7. God understands more than we can imagine He does.
  8. God can heal you in an instant.
  9. Sometimes where you want to be is not where you need to be.
  10. Standing up for yourself may be terrifying but not more frightening than sacrificing your worth, values, humanity & dignity.
  11. Family won’t always feel like family.
  12. Home won’t always feel like home.
  13. Forgiving yourself is one of the most powerful things you can do.
  14. Unlearning who you came to believe you were is a revolutionary act.
  15. Money can’t buy you happiness.
  16. Obeying God will save you from more than you can imagine.
  17. Interrogate why you think you “need to” or “should” do something.
  18. Deadlines don’t mean as much as dedication.
  19. Walking away is better than staying and suffering.
  20. Thinking about how to minimize harm to yourself & others really does help minimize harm to yourself & others.
  21. Radical honesty & radical transparency are different yet potent.
  22. “Time asks no questions, it goes on without you.”
  23. Offering forgiveness doesn’t guarantee you’ll receive an apology.
  24. Loving yourself is a daily exercise.
  25. Dancing brings joy.
  26. Gratitude is fuel.
  27. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of asking for help.
  28. Keep showing up for yourself. Keep getting up. Keep breathing.

Randi Gloss

Written by

@GLOSSRAGS Founder | Social Entrepreneur | Activist | Writer | Creator | Connector | www.glossrags.com

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade