The Deli Girl
I had no idea what I wanted to do when I left school, and I took my stepdad's advice and went and got an apprenticeship.
There weren't many apprenticeships around then, and I got a job as an apprentice butcher. I never enjoyed my time working at the shop that hired me, mainly because I was bullied.
Where I worked was like a supermarket, with everything from wholesale and retail butchers, a chicken shop, frozen food and snacks, and a deli.
Most people's advice is that you should not date or get involved with someone you work with, but you spend so much time with the people you work with that it's hard not to get feelings for someone.
A few times, I have gotten close to women I have worked with; this was one of them.
Before the deli area got a makeover and had a full-scale commercial, the ladies working there had to walk through the wholesale section (where I worked) to use the oven.
One day, I noticed a new girl walking through. While it was hard not to see someone who didn't belong in wholesale, this woman stood out because she was pretty tall. I later found out her name was Alicia.
I will admit that I have a thing for tall women. I stand at about 5 foot 7, so I'm not tall, and I have never really had a taller woman be into me.
It took a little while before Alicia, and I spoke to each other. I can't remember who said the first words, but she was easy to get along with. Alicia also had some great stories; she had travelled to a few places on Rotary Exchange.
Even though I can't remember who said the first words to the other, there is one day that I do remember very well, and that is also the day that got the whole shop talking. Alicia and I were at lunch at the same time, and she was telling me about some French music she was listening to; she then told me to sit next to her and share the headphones. We listened, laughed and had a good time.
The word had gotten out before I had finished my lunch break, so when I returned, I copped it from all angles. Then came a question I dreaded: "What would your girlfriend think about you flirting with other girls?"
Leanne and I had been dating for about three years (this happened in 2008). I don't know what happened, but we had a rough patch then. Leanne had stopped me from seeing my friends, and I resented this.
After getting to know Alicia, I started to get feelings for her. This wasn't good, and I was still trying to figure out what I would do.
At the time, Leanne had lost her trust in me. That was one of the reasons why she didn't like me going out with some of my friends; they were apparently 'bad influences'.
I am trying to remember if I gave Alicia my number or if she got it from someone else, but one day as Leanne and I were sitting watching, my phone went off. I had put it on silent as my mates habitually called at 3 am after a night out. What I did next, I was not proud of.
I got my phone out of my pocket and saw that it was a message from Alicia. Leanne felt the phone vibrate in her pocket and quickly asked who was messaging me, and I told her it was my cousin. Since trust in the relationship was low, she demanded to see my phone; I deleted Alicia's message before handing her the phone, but she knew something was up.
From that point, I tried to stop talking to Alicia, but it was hard when I would see her at work five, sometimes six, days a week. We also had a chemistry that I hadn't felt with someone since I first met Leanne. I started to think that I should break up with her to start a relationship with Alicia.
When we started flirting again, it made me realise that Alicia was the one for me, but it all came undone at the birthday party of one of our colleagues.
For some reason, I was invited to Rob, the wholesale manager's birthday party. He and I never got along due to his daughter and me seeing each other (a story for another time). I decided to go, and I told Leanne that I was going out with people from the gym I trained at, another lie I am not proud of.
I look back on that night, and I'm unsure what I hoped would happen. I also don't remember much of it because I got very drunk. I expected something would happen between Alicia and me, but I don't know if it did. We didn't sleep together because I remember walking home from her house.
Whatever happened that night, it turned Alicia off of me. We spoke, but it wasn't like it once was. She quit the deli and moved to Canberra when she finished university.
My last interaction with Alicia was over Messenger when I had just moved to Canberra. I was looking for a place to rent after my house-sitting duties had ended; My mum rang to tell me that she had heard of someone looking for a housemate, then she said Alicia's name, and I was gobsmacked.
I reached out to Alicia and told her what I thought about what happened between us after that night and how confused I was about it. She didn't say much, but in her reply, I knew that I wasn't getting that room.
Now and then, I wonder what I did for Alicia to get the ick, but it's better that I don't know why.
From this, I learnt that communication is vital in relationships, and I have strived for that in future ones.
