The Peculiar Case of the Trap Queen and Her Shallow Nature

Once up on a time, in a pre- gentrified city between Lord Help Us and Where the Cash At, lived a young queen. This area was known for their beautiful women and even more ruthless men, but on this particular day, all was silent and steady. The common folk were not on their usual bustle and hustle, and the street vendors were cowarding in a bando of approximate distance. Our young Queen on this day felt the energy of her beloved city and inquired to herself, as she did everyday, when would the time come for her rescue. The Young Queen knew there was something different about her, but she did not know to the extent. She was not aware of her monarchical powers, therefore, the Young Queen felt inadequate, and even sad at times. The sullen wind and creak of old buildings filled with despair was the Young Queen’s only solitude.

But, what was this? Admist the rolling empty bottles of Olde English 40 oz’s, appeared a young man. There was something different about this man. He carried an air of confidence, but when the Young Queen gazed into his eyes, she gasped. There was only ONE eye. How could this be? How could her young prince be a cyclops. Why was this happening to her?

“Here ye Young Queen, I have come to rescue you from your indefinite demise”, shouted the young prince from his 1992 Mazda Miata. “Go forth, prince,” Shouted the Young Queen in disgust, “You are not worthy of my courtship.” “But Young Queen, are ye not aware of my recent cometh up?”, shouted the young prince, his gloomy demeaner evident. “I do not care for such trivial matters,” proclaimed the Young Queen. And with that, the young prince drove off, leaving a cloud of exhaust smoke.

Moral of the story: Don’t be a Trap Queen.

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