Rapti Gupta


I feel different.

I feel trapped in a box. I usually have enough room to breathe. Just a while ago I was ecstatic. It’s different now.

I feel l could implode. I want a release. But it feels stuffy in here. I’m trying to push. Something’s wrong. I cannot expand. I think I’m shrinking every second.

I’m so scared I’ll fail. I’m so afraid to stop and the more I think of being still and keeping calm, I just panic. I beat around faster. I can hear the sound of my own beating.

I never could master the art of breathing.

Only if someone would rip me out; I promise to fit in a palm but not in here. I‘m suffocating. I’m contracting…

Lavonne lay limp on the bathroom floor.

Remnants of white powder lined her nose.