Do Not Overthink the Meaning of Life
Focus on the meaning of today. Every day
What is the meaning of life? The greatest thinkers in human history have pondered this question with no definitive answer so far. There are so many ways to look at this question, from questioning the significance of our existence as species to our role as individuals. From scientific inquiry to religious deliberation. From matters of ethics, morals, and values to the purpose behind human societies.
Depending on your system of beliefs and values, there can be a range of views you hold on the matter. You may think there is no meaning to all this if you consider how tiny is the probability of us and our world even existing in this vast universe. Or you may believe our purpose is to serve the divine. Or maybe you prefer to think that the meaning of life is to be rich and successful. As science advances, religions transform and adapt to changing realities,
Whatever it may be, it is human nature to seek a narrative. It is hard to think that there is no significance to one’s life, so we typically connect with a narrative that matches our environment, upbringing, culture, and personality. Where you are born, into what social stratum, with or without a family, into peace or conflict, what education you receive, what experiences shape up your personality and many other variables create the unique you. This means the meaning you seek is uniquely yours. It has to be.
In any case, I offer you that you will be best served if you focus not on the meaning of it all, but on the purpose and meaning of just one day at a time. Do not overthink it. Thought is only useful in that it guides and drives action. If thought replaces action, you will not get very far in achieving whatever version of the purpose you believe you seek or serve.
Rather than seeking meaning, focus on creating meaning. Focus on seeking and clarifying the meaning for you. Note that you don’t just come across the meaning. You construct it out of what you inherit from those before you, your unique path, what you work towards and what befalls you, who and what you believe, love, and value.
And don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with a grand objective or purpose you set for yourself, as long as you don’t just live in a dreamland, but work towards making that objective a reality.
Comedian Kevin Hart said something that strangely resonated with me: “Life has a game-like quality to it”. You start somewhere, develop your skills, handle your challenges and move from one stage to another. Sometimes you have to face a big baddie, sometimes you get lucky. Life is not, however, a type of a game that follows one narrative, more like multiple possible narratives with your choices and actions leading you one way or another. It is in this process that your purpose is revealed to you.
We should also never forget that we are not all facing the same odds in life. In the moment of weakness and despair when the question — what is the point of all this — comes to our mind, we should remind ourselves that there have been and there are today, people who have it much, much worse and still have the clarity of purpose. They do not necessarily hold on to a grand narrative but work through the challenge in front of them, day after day. Just read (and re-read) Victor Frankl’s “A Man’s Search for Meaning” or Edith Eger’s “The Choice”. These accounts of the two Holocaust survivors will put almost any (what you think is) hardship you experience to shame and hopefully spur you to action. You could also just look at the news from Syria or Ukraine, Yemen or Afghanistan and picture yourself in the middle of an ongoing conflict. You can talk to people who you know have dealt with significant calamities in their lives, whether it be a personal tragedy or a large-scale catastrophe that affected an entire community.
Frankl wrote that we needed “to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life, daily and hourly”. Not only does the meaning change from one person to another, but also from one moment in our life to another. We are confronted with different challenges and each one does its part in shaping who we are and what our path is. Meaning does not have to be vague. Life is not vague. It is real. It is happening to you right now.
I like to think of this in terms of two types of action I aim to take every day. These are the Two Rules I try to live by (sounds simplistic, I know). Rule one — do something that elevates yourself. Get healthy, learn, improve, become disciplined. Be specific about it, enhance your value. Rule two — do something that elevates the world around you. Fix something, help someone, care for another person, make something better at work, in your neighborhood, in your community. We all know what are the things we could improve about ourselves and our surroundings. It is easy to be overwhelmed by everything that is happening in the world and our lives. Simplify. Narrow your focus to move forward and find meaning. Feeling empty and directionless is a matter of attitude, but also an outcome of inaction.
Both Frankl and Eger, as well as the ancient philosophy of stoicism teach us that plenty of things outside our control will hit us and hurt us in life. Everything can be taken away from us, except our ability and freedom to choose how we will react. Frankl called that “the last of human freedoms”. Eger voiced a similar sentiment: “We don’t know where we’re going, we don’t know what’s going to happen, but no one can take away from you what you put in your mind.”
Life thus offers opportunities to seek and find meaning even in the most extreme circumstances. Again, as Frankl noted, suffering is not necessary to find meaning, but one can find meaning even despite unavoidable suffering.
In today’s world, many also lead an aimless life, a life without a search for meaning because, let’s face it, some of us just have a too comfortable life. Boredom is perhaps the opposite of action, distress, and suffering, but even in the safest, stable, and advanced societies, there is plenty one can do. There is always misery and suffering that you can aim to minimize, there are always improvements you can try to make. Always.
Wait. What about the pursuit of happiness? Isn’t that what we should aim for in life? Isn’t that the whole point of life? No. Not even close. Happiness is what happens to you. It is not a purpose. If you have ever experienced an event that made you happy, something you achieved, or something incredibly positive that just happened to you, then you know that happiness is a fleeting feeling. You aim at something, you get there, you feel happy. But then it is time to set another aim. Because the feeling of happiness wears off very quickly.
So if you are struggling with the meaning of your life, look at your life. Look around. What is it that you can do right now to make things better? For you and the people around you? Start with that. One small step. Do that every day. Expect challenges and setbacks. Keep at it. Reduce and try to get out of habits that make things worse. One small step. Every day. The meaning of life will not magically appear. It will be shaped by such daily actions. It will be part of who you become.
