The Golden Rule. Is It Enough?
A brief journey into the “rules” of human ethics
We all know the Golden Rule. “Treat Others How You Want To Be Treated”. Classic. It is hard to find a person anywhere on the planet who has not heard a version of this sentence. Different cultures, religions, or systems of ethics articulate this principle somewhat differently.
The Golden Rule was a welcome departure from the Iron Rule: “Might makes right”. The Iron rule only works for those with power and since we know power is transitory, it has never quite reached a status of universal guidance, though times of pragmatism and cynicism do bring it back from obscurity.
In contrast, the Golden Rule is commonly considered an exercise in kindness. But firstly, let us indicate that it is rooted in the principle of reciprocity. Note that reciprocity can be positive and negative. While the Golden Rule focuses on the positive reciprocity, the negative reciprocity, while predominant in most societies of the past, is considered today to be harmful to effective collaboration in human societies. That is why you see retaliatory action, such as revenge killings and so on, outlawed in modern societies. As Gandhi said (this is probably misattributed), “An eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind”.
The early Christian version of the Golden Rule is, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” (Matthew, 7:12). It is a statement focusing on positive action — we do something, so it is then replicated in another person’s behavior towards us. Reciprocity is essentially a principle according to which we exchange something — goods, favors, attitude — for mutual benefit. Reciprocity is one of the most ancient instincts of human beings and it can be argued that without it there would not be human societies. As humans had to function collectively to adapt and survive, reciprocity had to be one of the earliest methods to develop trust and cooperation. It has even been argued that the Golden Rule is the foundation upon which the entire system of modern human rights is built.
Interestingly, while the Golden Rule is prominent in the Christian tradition, as well as Islam, the earlier religions of Judaism and Buddhism, among others, offer a different version of reciprocity with a focus on avoiding the negative. Talmud mentions for example, “What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor”(Shabbat 31a). Mahabharata seconds that with, “Do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you”(5:1517). And my personal favorite is a Yoruba proverb from Nigeria, “One who is going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts.” Brilliant.
This has come to be known as the Silver Rule, or the negative Golden Rule. At first glance, the difference in phrasing seems negligible, however, if you pay attention, there is a very important point here.
The Silver Rule focuses on what should not be done, rather than what should be done as in the Golden Rule. Nassim Nicholas Taleb also argues in his books Antifragile and Skin in the Game that the Silver Rule is more robust. He argues that we often don’t know how we want to be treated, but we always know exactly how we do not want to be treated. Or as George Bernard Shaw wrote, “Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same”.
That it is easier to agree about what is wrong, whereas what is right is a matter of perspective, background, and personal views. The Silver Rule essentially removes the need to assume that we know what is good for others. That said, although Taleb makes a sound argument (I love this part — “the silver rule prevents the busybodies from attempting to run your life”), the problem with the Silver Rule is that it does not promote positive action.
This is where it is interesting to explore the Platinum Rule, popularized by author Tony Alessandra, “Do unto others as they would want done to them”. The Platinum Rule focuses on the differences between people’s wants and needs, suggesting that we should tailor our actions to the unique tastes and desires of the receiving side. Makes sense, though you can also immediately see how this can get us in trouble. Chasing every whim of those around, while sometimes great fun, can also become exhausting and make us slaves to others’ desires. So I would say, use the Platinum Rule with great caution, lest your genuine desire to be of service is abused.
Enter the last, and probably the least-known member of this family of rules. I could not pinpoint the origins of this one, though one source attributed it to Ancient Egypt (and if that is true, bravo to you, our wise predecessors). It goes like this: “Treat people as they treat other people”. The point here is to avoid falling into the reciprocity trap — if someone treats me well, I’ll treat them well too. Or if someone treats me badly, I’ll retaliate. Pay attention to how this other person treats other people. If they treat you very well but mistreat those around them, do not ignore that. You cannot keep treating this person well. Similarly, if you don’t get along with someone, but you notice everyone else seems to like this person, then it is time to look into this relationship more deeply. Perhaps you are the reason why you are not getting along with this otherwise good and kind person. The wisdom here is to look beyond the bilateral relationship and to be self-critical enough to accept that our judgment about another person could simply be wrong.
Since this last rule does not seem to have a name, I take the liberty of naming it (tongue-in-cheek) the Papirus Rule.
So here you go. Use the Silver Rule as the absolute basis of your actions. Use the Golden Rule to guide you in positive action. Use the Platinum Rule when you feel you need to be nuanced in choosing how to treat others. Finally, use the Papirus Rule when you feel that your relationship is too smooth to be true or too negative where it does not have to be. It is perhaps the combination of these tools that we need to use to successfully maneuver today’s world of complex relationships.
