Wow, great story you have there. Thank you very much for reaching out and reading my post.
I guess you need some time off and just reflect on what you want to do with your life. Steve Jobs has a great quote about this and I think he has a point:
“You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle.”
I agree that is very hard to find what you love to do, but you’ll have better chances to do this by exploring other fields and just reading about what you’re curious about. I mean, I worked at Subway to find out how to run a franchise business, I had an internship at a TV station, I co-founded a business with my best friend and we failed, I was a technical analyst at a brokerage firm and then a business analyst at a consultancy company. All these before quitting my job and starting to learn programming on my own. So, Steve was right, don’t settle.
Regarding the insecurity of being incapable, don’t worry. Most programmers have this anxiety and because is so common there is even a name for it: the impostor syndrome they called it.
I wish you the best in your journey of finding what you love to do and I am certain you will make it. And don’t forget, the day you stop is the day before you succeed.
Good luck and don’t hesitate to tweet me @RautaAlin if you have any questions. :)