Why I Don’t Give A Shit About Sports

Unless you’ve been living under a rock in the past week and a half, the NBA Finals have ended. Everyone seems to be elated with great reverence for the the players involved and with extreme appreciation for the sport, me, I could give a shit. My Facebook feed is grotesquely filled with senseless posts saying “We Did It” with a picture of LeBron holding his newfound trophy. We did it? What did you do to contribute to their success? Your dumb useless monkey meat body did nothing to push them over the edge. They weren’t thanking you by name at any minute during their celebration. Us humans have such an intrinsically deep and weird connection to teams; Team iPhone, Team Android, Team Mustang, Team Camaro, Team Democrat/Republican, Team Christian, Team Jew, (don’t worry I’ll stop there) it’s ridiculous. Think it has something to do with our primitive tribal nature, back when we existed as hunter & gatherers.

These days, MMA, UFC & Strikeforce seem like the only logical sport to watch. I think these sports in particular satisfy my instinctual nature to see people get fucked up. Whether your religion, or your own personal paradigm wants to acknowledge it or not, we are animals. We are no different from lions, sharks, monkeys (YEAH, MONKEYS NIGGA) we like to witness physical domination just like they do. In reality, they do it to survive we do it for an ego boost or in this case these guys do it for money, which in turn is our entertainment. Really don’t understand how it’s purposeful to keep up with 82 game seasons, not to mention all the playoff games, 30 teams, and fantasy basketball if you’re really into that kinda thing. This is just one sport, same goes for Football, Baseball, Soccer. I don’t have the time nor the fascination to sit through the malarkey filled commentators giving me their two cents during the game, nor the daunting abundance of commercials for those sports either, man I hate sports.

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