being with you was like shaking a rag doll

i don’t remember what it looked like

i just see my arms extended to shoulders

hands clenched

hot words spilling through timid teeth

a screen to catch the ugly

often struggling

often nothing at all

often on the fence between aggression and compassion / i hate you don’t leave me

often biting my tongue because i don’t know how to tell you

you don’t give me enough attention without sounding crazy

it hurt me that you didn’t care when i said i wanted to leave

my absence was an oasis and you’d been searching so long

my god how tired you must be

but you could never vocalize that

through timid teeth you’d stutter and then stop

a screen to catch the ugly

now looking back, it makes sense why you were always so quiet

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