I got to the part about “women’s toxic bonding rituals” and had to stop reading. The only toxic ritual I went through was the one where people thought I left him instead of biting my tongue to accept it when he left me, and where I worked hard to not let him come back to repeat the narcissistic cycle of making me feel loved and then kicking me down so low that I just wanted to die.
It’s hard not to stay in a cycle of abuse, because the abuser constructs it that way. Mine constructed it so I had to listen to his pain at having me take his threat to leave seriously. I had to look into his disbelieving, deer-in-headlights face after he came back for the ‘honeymoon period,’ and remember how he tore up my self esteem and kept it raw for sport, and told me I was a horrible person when I didn’t want to do everything his way, and accused me of being cruel when I tried to think for myself. If he had tried just one more time, I think I would have caved. Lord knows where I’d be then.
A couple of women, who thought they knew him, let slip to me that they couldn’t understand why ‘I left’ and I had to set them straight. One gave me side-eye like I must have been lying. The author of that piece seems to have a lot in common with the latter. And her sweeping generalizations are extremely off-base.