I’m not ashamed or apologetic about using the word. I actually also liked saying f word and f-bomb because they fit in with the humorous tone I was mostly getting at.
I didn’t go full tilt, because it was written as a response to a writer who already explained why she prefers not to hear the word and, as I wrote in my piece, I don’t lob the word at people. My comfort with it is about me. Her discomfort with it is about her, but I made a choice based on my desire to communicate, and I wasn’t hobbled by it.
I expressed my feelings about discourse and propriety last week in This Road, because communication feels harder these days, but even so, I want more than anything to be a part of it. Whether writing fiction or just writing about myself, whether I’m very serious or trying to get someone to smile with me, I want to be a part of a human dialog that, if we’re lucky, is sometimes healing for all parties involved.
Athough I see the value of ‘in your face’ communication when the stakes are high and people are refusing to listen, it’s the healing aspect of communication that I’m most drawn to and why I chose to write my piece the way I did, in a way I thought it would be better heard. For me, it was an unabashed ode.