Huma Abedin: “Done With That Weiner”

Oops! He did it again!

Former Congressman Anthony Weiner was again snagged in an online “show and tell” of his semi-clad body.

Weiner is the husband of Hillary Clinton’s controversial aide Huma Abedin.

A New York Post report claimed Weiner sent semi-nude pictures of himself to an unidentified woman. Weiner described his sexual fantasies in messages to the woman, calling her “a drooling hop-along sex toy.”

Sources indicate the unidentified woman was a NYPD police detective who was investigating online sexual predators.

Abedin Sues Weiner for Divorce

Fed up with her husband’s shenanigans, Abedin announced she is separating from Weiner.

“The man is not only a philanderer — he’s also a fraud,” Abedin said. “He stuffs his underwear with socks to give the appearance that he’s more endowed than he really is.”

“As a Muslim who practices Sharia Law, I regret rebelling against my father’s pleas to stay away from that unholy infidel,” Abedin said. “My momma told me I better shop around. Unfortunately I did not.”

Weiner shot back against his wife’s accusations, showing no remorse.

“As a Muslim woman, Huma knows she is wrong to publicly disgrace me,” Weiner said. “Right now, she needs to shut her mouth, wrap a burqa over her head, and curl up in a sandbox with the Quran.”

Weiner was also quick to turn Abedin’s accusations of hypocrisy back on her.

“Huma is a high ranking liberal in the Clinton Campaign and needs to start acting like one,” Weiner said. “As a liberal, she supports LGBTQ rights and all kinds of perversions associated with that lifestyle. How can she on one hand accept a group of men oiling up each other and rolling around on a bed all night, but yet condemn me for sharing pics of my bulging manhood with the opposite sex?”

Trump Weighs In

Republican Presidential Candidate Donald Trump was quick to jump into the controversy.

“Abedin has got Crooked Hillary between a rock and a hard place,” Trump said. “She should take lessons from her boss: insist rumors against her husband’s perversions stems from a vast rightwing conspiracy and pledge to stand by her man.”

Abedin does not appear to be interested Trump’s advice.

“After long and painful consideration and work on my marriage, I have made the decision to divorce Anthony,” Abedin said in a statement. “We are devoted to doing what is best for our son, who is the light of our life and the sole reason I don’t Lorena Bobbitt Anthony’s scrotum to shreds.”

Abedin talked about her radical Islamic faith in a recent interview with Vogue. She shared how a network of friends, imams, and clerics helped her through the scandals.

Weiner apparently has been leaning on his own personal network as well. Sources close to the disgraced congressman said he has been in discussions with Jon Gosselin about opening a chain of topless hair salons for men.


Originally published at kenkilpatrick.com on August 29, 2016.