It’s Easy to be Poisoned by Fools

“It’s easy to be poisoned by fools.”

I never felt this any stronger than when I had an interview with a major plastics manufacturer. The conversation lasted longer than expected, and it was quite fruitful. The tour showed me there are companies out there that care about their employees. They care about the quality of their finished product.

The interview revealed something else.

I am poisoned by my fears and fight myself with my imperfections. I rail against my failures and wonder why I’ll never write anything more than a few articles a week.

I work in a damaged and near poisonous environment. It is easy to see now when I contrast and compare the two corporations.

I work in a technology focused industry, yet the company doesn’t invest in technology. They fight for every penny, often letting dollars bleed out in the process. They shame every mistake made, yet they receive no feedback for improvements.

It hit me like a ton of bricks as I saw the engagement charts hanging on the wall. The woman who interviewed me told me they hit full engagement over the last few months. She was confident it would hit full engagement again.

It also hit home in the writing phase of my life. I am poisoned by my fears and fight myself with my imperfections. I rail against my failures and wonder why I’ll never write anything more than a few articles a week.

The poison is rushing through my veins, and I refused to acknowledge it in the slightest.

At the end of the interview, the heavens opened and the angels wept. I believe they wept for the chance I had, but I also know they wept for the damage I caused myself. They knew, as well as I did, that I only have this one life to live. If I am to do anything with it, I must share my stories and expose the darkness to the light whenever I can.

Even though I bathe in mental darkness like Countess Bathory, I know I must be the torchbearer for my travesties.

It is time to climb out of the poison tub, dry myself off, and expose the darkness.

As seen on my blog loyaltyiskillingme.com where I discuss everything from my writing to dealing with the trauma from my sexual and physical abuse.