It’s never really about the clothes it’s just the easiest way to attack you. You can dress the exact same as them and they will just find another problem, there is no way to appease them.
The whole thing is just good old fashioned lateral aggression- the same sort of behavior that has made nursing so toxic has migrated to tech as more women are hired. The men are so busy self-policing male sexual aggression they have absolutely no clue how to even begin to deal with the petty teenage “you can’t sit with us” soft aggression the women pull on each other.
As far as “appropriate work attire”. Once the tech community starts actively calling out male programmers who fail to bathe for days and walk around with bits of food stuck in their beards- then feel free to talk about how much skin a woman is showing. A bit of thigh or shoulder is nowhere near as distracting as having to smell some of those dudes.