No-one Cares but Everyone’s Staring

He’s here but he’s not and now that’s how I feel
I’m present but absent, life’s lost it’s appeal
While the kids sleep I cry a river of tears
I can’t seem to shake off these fears
That I’m a terrible mum; that they’ll take my kids away
So I can’t stand the thought of anyone seeing me this way

I can’t stop going to the loo, I feel nervous all the time
That nurse keeps trying to visit and I know she’s just being kind
But I can’t tell her I’ve only gone and lost my mind
Nothing’s really wrong with me, honestly I should be fine

But…

My heart’s racing
I can hardly catch my breath
I feel sick, can’t even stand on own my front step
I had to send the children to school on their own
I can’t make it down the road, can barely use the phone

I’m feeling so alone…

I’m going through the motions, nothing seems real…
Seems like broken bones would be easier to heal
I know asking for help is the first step
But I’m not there yet…
My biggest fear is fear and I can’t bare to face it
I need to put my trust in someone who can help me erase it
But right now? All I see is a negative reflection of me
and I just think that no-one cares
But still, I see them staring.

This poem was written for the launch of Our Country Nurse, by Sarah Beeson MBE and Amy Beeson, and was inspired by one of the characters in the book. You can hear/see me reading the poem over on youtube.

If you connected with these words in any way, please hit the little heart below! And leave a comment if you feel moved to do so. I am always up for new connections.

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