The deal

Today, I made a deal with a friend. The deal was to enjoy, and find inspiration in what we did. It probably sounds stupid, but let me explain;

Last night we were talking about the anxiety we had been having in what we did. He makes music, so for him the anxiety is more focused on performance and the vast amount of people in his “sport”. For me the anxiety comes more from failure, and fear of an idea turning out to be crap. The fear really prevents me from wanting to take pictures, even though taking pictures is what makes me happy.

We set ourselves the target that by new years we would rediscover our “drive”, and become passionate creators once more. We both avoided mentioning that we wanted our anxiety to completely skedaddle since if we weren’t fearful of being bad, then we may as well become bad. Maybe our logic is wrong, and the anxiety to perform well is a good thing, if not a great thing, and something we will soon find ourselves missing as we get older and creating (or not creating) becomes, I hate to think that this is what it might come to, but boring. Does excitement fade with anxiety?

As long as I have been creative, to some extent, I have been fearful. Fearful of rejection, fearful of failure, fearful of “who does this kid think she is”-ness. Maybe that is a good thing. Maybe it’s good to know that I am able of failure, and that not all I create will be good.

This is his soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/scottishsurrealist

These are my social media links;

Instagram:@This_existence

Flickr: https://www.flickr.com/photos/119177005@N05/