When Will It Be Enough
If you are unable to understand the gravity of Donald Trump taking office, look no further, I am right here. I may be hard to really look at for fear of truly seeing the effect that this has had, but you need to look. Because it’s not just me; it’s millions of other Americans who are dealing with the same consequences you gave them and you just haven’t noticed or listened. I beg you, please listen.
I am not ignorant enough to blame Donald Trump for past experiences I’ve have, but I do know that him winning the election was the catalyst for all of the terror I’ve been holding in for years, to come flying out of the closet as fast as humanly possible. Never once did I think it would be possible to live in a country that would elect a person as President, regardless of sexual assault and rape allegations, let alone when there is evidence available. When I started processing what had happened and why it was allowed to happen, the only conclusion I could have beyond any doubt, was that a large enough percentage of Americans didn’t care enough about those allegations pertaining to who was their elected President. They didn’t care enough if he put his hands all over a stranger because he felt it was his right to do so, even when she said she didn’t like it. They didn’t care enough when he brutally raped his ex-wife and dismissed it because she was backed into a corner after the book that was written about it was brought into the light again. They didn’t care enough when a recording of him blatantly regarding women as objects of sex purely meant for him and other men of power, surfaced and spread like wildfire. It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t enough to make a difference in who they thought had the proper ethics and morals to run this country. It wasn’t enough. It reminded me of how the evidence I had wasn’t enough to make a police report of either of the rapes I experienced. There just wasn’t enough evidence to make it worth the trauma that would be court after a report. This leaves me feeling as if it would never be enough. The results of the election were so severe to me, such a definition of how little I mattered-how little being raped mattered.
November 9th, 2016, was when I lost all faith in community, all trust in society, all understanding in the justice system, and all self-worth in the eyes of those who disagree on this specific topic.
To know this information is what ultimately led me to feel hopeless and terrified. Within one day of the election, all safety in this country was gone. Within one week of the election, I felt hopeless towards the future of this country and my life. Within two weeks of the election, flashbacks from my own assaults started occurring more so and stronger than they ever have. Within one month of the election, I attempted suicide. I do not feel safe in any one square foot of this country. Again, I do not feel safe in this country. In my head, I could be raped or sexually assaulted again at any moment. I am one in a countless number of people who have had the same fear everyday since November 9th. Please hear me.
My body has had ownership taken away by the Republican Party, as well as by the future President, in every way possible.
