I have been med free for 5 years. I have a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder and lived for years as a disabled person. I have had treatments that include a series of ECT. But I won’t do it anymore. I know the pain won’t kill me. I am certain of it. Pain doesn’t kill anyone. We only kill ourselves. I don’t condemn those who choose to live a medicated life, but I have chosen to feel everything… bad and good. I have other tools that I use when I break: friends, meditation, tea, coloring books, my pencil and paper, my pillow, episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, my life coach, exercise, a walk in the rain, a drive to the country. We all make choices at every moment in our lives. I choose to live completely.