Twenties

Nothing says “adulthood” like seeing your mother cry.
Nothing says “loneliness” like no-one seeing you.
Your house, his house, mum’s house.
“I’m going home.” “Home, or home-home?”
Spare pair of underwear in your bag, no food that expires because you wander,
No place where the sheets smell like you.

Coldness, infuriation
Petty squabbles and broken hearts
Suspended between childish dreams and suburban monotony.
Grow old, grow up,
Enjoy it while it lasts, don’t waste your time.
You’ll never have this chance again, they say,
Watching you watching others live more than you ever could
Sitting at home bathed in blue light.

Bathroom floors slick with spilled drinks
And darkened smoking areas where
If you’re lucky
You’ll catch their eye
Charm them with your smile
Hold their gaze, build a tension within them.
A loving warmth, a burning heat, you don’t care which but you build it because maybe
Just maybe
If you build them up enough they’ll unleash everything unto you and for once
For fucking once
You can let go of everything within you, all those things you don’t understand,
You can’t understand, no matter how many nights you sit alone and cry while you try to figure it out
Push them to the limit, push them, push them, push
Because who knows when you’ll have the chance again
Drink in this moment of insanity, gulp it until you feel like you’ll drown because when you wake up tomorrow
You’ll be alone again.

Boredom or chaos
The middle ground is what dreams are made of, but don’t be a fool
It’s one or the other, babe.
It’s the decade you’ll never forget,
And the potential you’ll never remember.