Accidental misogyny

We all do it, without realizing it.

I posted something to one of my online profiles — it basically said, “Time for action, things need to get done!” A single sentence about what I think matters most in politics: accomplishing things. To me this is paramount, much more important than which particular personality gets elected. Who will actually get the important work done?

Almost immediately, somebody with whom I am very close texted me, very concerned. You see, I am currently on a job search.

“What will employers think?!! You’re firing off single sentences about action politics now? You make yourself sound weird. Nobody is going to want to hire you.”

My first instinct was — maybe he’s right? Maybe I should take that down, right away. My second instinct was to get defensive. “What are you doing checking out what I’m posting? Mind your own business.” But then I examined it more closely. He was only trying to be helpful and so I took another look at it.

A single sentence about “getting things done” is going to make me look “weird” to potential employers? I suddenly realized that this is only because I’m a female. This was like a revelation to me.

I texted back: “Ask yourself this — what if a guy had said it? Would you still think it’s weird? No. It’s only because I’m a woman. Employers have to know who they’re hiring — I have opinions. And I believe in getting things done. Wouldn’t any employer appreciate this sentiment, even coming from a woman?”

Then I reassured him: “Don’t worry, you’re not the only one. Everybody does this. A strong woman expressing a strong opinion is problematic. But when a guy does it, that’s great. If I’m going to battle this sort of thing it might not be easy. But I’m not going to hide myself.”

I could tell that I had struck a real chord there. He apologized. It makes me wonder — do I do this too? Do I judge women more harshly than men, for the exact same activity? I’m going to have to look at that. Maybe everybody should ….