15 Things Your Cat Would Say If It Could Talk

If you asked any cat owner if they had one wish for their cat, I’m pretty sure at least 90% of the answers would be “I wish they could talk.” Cats are an enigma, and there would be absolutely nothing more satisfying to us as humans than to know what the hell they are thinking! What’s going on in your cat brain, kitty?

• “There’s a poop in your shoe and I want you to try to guess which one of us did it?”
• “I may be showing you my belly right now, but if you even think about touching it, I will shred your face until it falls off.”

Reddit: Gord88

• “It’s been exactly 13 minutes since I was last fed. I can feel the icy grip of death.”
• “You didn’t HAVE to pay all that money for a new bed I won’t use. I did say the small piece of paper on the table was fine…”
• “I am standing on your face because it’s time to wake up and feed me!”
• “Since you are a despicable hunter, I have left a bird on your pillow. And don’t worry, I took the liberty of killing it for you.”
• “I am requesting that you open the door for me. I wish to go out so that I can scratch to get back in.”
• “I absolutely will not let you put me in the bath, what kind of monster are you!?”

• “Hello, I am very pleased to see you, allow me to give you a front row view of my butt!”
• “You are a tall, stupid cat and I must look after you.”
• “Oh were you reading this? It’s just that I am desperate for a nap right here and right now.”
• “I have a bet on how long it will take you to find the pee I just did in your room. Heh.”

• “You have made me wear a costume. I am alone in this hell. I feel nothing. Life is an abyss.”
• “I can’t believe I’m STILL awake! I’ve been up for 20 minutes today.”
• “Look, we tried with the dog, but he’s been here 11 seconds and I think we both know it’s not going to work out.”