Why is it I care so much? Why does my heart ache? An ache, a craving for being wanted.. it’s so stupid.

Why do i care so much? I see girls with guys clinging onto them. I think, “wouldn’t it be nice to have that” but I know that it’s a waste of time, nothing more than a moment.

And then it’s gone.

That feeling disgusts me, it makes me cringe, wishing I hadn’t even thought about it. I know my value, I know what I deserve. Not a one night stand, not a tinder boy. Not a superficial conversation about school.

I deserve more. Because I’ve become more.

I know it’ll happen. Somewhere out there is someone with exactly what I want. Someone who understands the language of the universe. Someone who cares about the poor, dying world. This person knows me, will understand me and who I am and why I do the things I do.

One day. Maybe I’m college, maybe later on. Some day, we’ll meet.

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