Are we not already too bound by the wrong kind of dark within ourselves? The kind that has us feed on the idea of our worthlessness from childhood; the kind that make a bully out of their shaming, the kind that taunts the psyche that we’ll never measure up – yet, to what is anyone’s guess; the kind that carves misogyny into men belittled by bitter women in their resentful or dictatorial motherhood, the kind that allows us women, generally, to settle for so much less and for all of us, than life deserves ?
The re-calibration you allude to requires desire embedded in our qualitative dark, without which there can no light and for light nothing of its shadow: Restraint versus composure, dignity versus dehumanisation, value versus meaning. Balance is a choice and in the choosing lies the work so few care to do, for the duration. Only when the pain of change is less than the pain of staying the same, will anything change. The work of its learning curve so often too high a price to pay to live with integrity.