If you’re not feeling much (sensation) your partner likely isn’t either!
Whatever happened to being present in the present?
It has been quoted by many for a long time, “The mind is a terrible thing to waste.” It has also been quoted, “No time like the present (moment).”
These quotes beg the question, “What prevents individuals to using their mind to stay in the present moment?”
I believe that many of individual’s problems and subsequently the world’s problems are due, in part, to the reluctance to be present in the moment.
What is robbing us of this precious gift i.e., the present? The greatest lovemaking occurs in the present!
It appears the inability to stay in the present is due to wallowing in our past shortcomings or hurt feelings; this is depressing. It is also due to our penchant for fantasizing about future outcomes; usually and more commonly the negative events.
By observation it appears many individuals are uncomfortable about the thought, the prospect or the experience of being in the moment. They are so uncomfortable they attempt to control individuals and situations. They create drama, conflict, and strife in interpersonal situation that give them a distraction.
They create a fire of fear and anxiety that robs them of the most precious gift being in the moment! If you’ve paid attention; I know you have witnessed this and likely created similar situations yourself.
Many are afraid of being in the moment.
What is the moment? It is a present state of awareness; where you are not thinking about the past memories or dwelling on the fantasies of the future. It is pure; it is healing; and unfortunately elusive.
How many times are we bogged down with the ubiquitous and constant what if scenario questions our most primitive mind conjures? A rhetorical question, but a fair question.
Not staying in the present feeds fear. Fear divides everything; people, communities, countries, and the world.
Being present is the best salve for relationships
The best lovemaking I (As well as anyone) experience is when my partner and I are in the present moment. When you are present; you create the lovemaking into a unique moment. Spontaneous orgasms occur in these conditions frequently when you and your partner are entwined in the moment together. Being present means you are in tune with yourself, your partner, and the moment. No obligations, or fears, no memories intruding.
When either partner in a conjugal union ‘mails it in’; both are deprived of the primary motivation of the act; intimacy. Intimacy whether physical or emotional is necessary for the moment to bring out the best.
So…Practice being in the moment
How to get in the moment: (An abbreviated list)
1: Take slow deep breathes; the result is a slow down of thoughts and increase of mental focus.
2: Feel, hear, and enjoy all of the sensations, textures, sounds,smells and sights in other words all senses engaged do not focus on a single thing, but all things.
3: Practice moment by moment
4.Focus on the moment, not the outcome. The outcome will arrive!