I’m Not Your Robot!

Miley Cyrus, Can’t Be Tamed

My parents got mad when they found out that I had called the agency to take a break from working at Fraser Direct yesterday after work and didn’t bother to tell them till this morning at 6:00am. I should’ve told them earlier than that but knew how they’d respond leading me to keep quiet about that thought, pretending like that didn’t happen and that I’m still being expected to work today.

Mom got so mad she didn’t speak to me at lunch, probably not much tonight either, I bet. Like I’ve shared in my previous posts this week about taking a break from working my shifts at Fraser Direct to focus on my mental health recovery (depression relapse) and my academics (my online course to complete the certificate for the office admin, general program at Conestoga college). But they continued sticking with their only thoughts that I should still work during the duration time length of the remaining projects to be completed at the warehouse and then keep busy with academics and my recovery until possibly another work period comes up at Fraser Direct again.

Your thoughts? How should I fix this? Or should I just focus on taking care of myself including taking all the meds I’v been taking (birth control, biotin, antidepressant #1 (trial), and concerta for my ADD) and doing the best I can on the work for the course with my current brain condition without trying to get my parents to see the whole scenario in a more positive light than they’ve ever perceived anything involving me?

You used to say that I was special. Everything was right. But now you think I’m wearing too much make-up. That my dress is too tight. – Britney Spears

They don’t try to accept the person that I’ve been trying to be since all my life but mostly since high school. I’m sure I’m not the only one who is in the same or similar boat as me in this kind of scenario.

How do you handle your situations when these moments happen?

You got no reasons to be jealous. I’ve never been untrue. So does it really matter if they’re looking. I’m only looking at you. – Overprotected, Britney Spears

My parents but not as much of my sister are the only ones that won’t let me be who I want to be and who I’m trying to be. But they’re making it difficult.

You should never try to change me. I can be nobody else. And I like the way I am. – Overprotected, Britney Spears

I like myself the way I am. I am at the point in loving myself where I’m not ashamed of the way I look without any makeup. And I’m not gonna continue wearing makeup to hide who I really am because my own parents convince and tell me I should so that ‘society’ doesn’t judge me (like they are known for) when I go out in public. Hey, guess what? I don’t care. I only care about what I think of myself. And I have finally come to being confidently, and honestly truthful when I say that I am happy with my appearance and will only change anything part of my body for myself, not for anyone else. Not even society, I’m done doing that.

What you see is what you get. This is me, hey you. If you want me, don’t forget. You should take me as I am. ‘Cause I can promise you. Baby, what you see is what you get. – Overprotected, Britney Spears

Take what you see because that’s what your stuck with. I’m not gonna change anything of myself just for you or anyone else in the whole world.

I know you watch me when I’m dancin’. When I party with me friends. I can feel your eyes on my back, baby. Oh no no. I can’t have no chains around me, baby can’t you see. – Overprotected, Britney Spears

I’ve made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t change a single thing of myself to impress anyone nor to meet anyone’s standards or expectations. I’m officially done.

I could be anything you dream of, but I gotta feel free. You should never try to change me. I can be nobody else. And I like the way I am. – Overprotected, Britney Spears

Think long and hard (not just logically and wisely, but creatively too: from new perspectives, ones that you even refuse to view yourself) before judging me or saying anything negative about me nor trying to change me. Becuase it’s a waste of time and it won’t work no matter how hard you try and how many times you try.

You should never try to change me. I can be nobody else. – Overprotected, Britney Spears

Think again.

Believe me, you’ll be looking for trouble if you hurt me. I can promise you, oh, you’ll be looking for trouble. – Overprotected, Britney Spears

It’s on you if you don’t make the right decisions when speaking to me. Don’t go pulling any crap of any kind on me for having bad unlogical reasons for what happens. And I don’t mean anything physical. Just words.

Don’t just think that physical actions including weapons like guns kill people, words do too.

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