Society Demanding Negative Identity

Right vs Wrong

Laura Annabelle
Aug 8, 2017 · 17 min read

You are what you allow. Attract the good things and good people. By setting the right and good examples. If you are nice to someone, they will most likely be nice back.

So what you are is what you allow, that’s my example and my first piece of inspiration or the 50th…

More to come, soon. I’ll be taking a break from adding more to quite a few of my books here on WattPad, just taking a break for a while. To help continue taking care of my mental health. – June 2017

And by a break I mean not much spending more time on other things for a while, then coming back; but more of creating my own schedule of how many parts/chapters I post of each book and how many days a week. So I plan to post max 5 chapters of any or a few books every other day.

Being that I have replaced my anxious and racing thoughts to those insightful, inspiring, uplifting, encouraging and life learning thoughts; I plan to type them in a new chapter in any of my books and if I have reached my limit for the day, I’ll save it and post it the next day.

Believe me if you may already notice my talent, but it more than just talent to me, but more of my own passion and is contributed and linked to my purpose!

I do hope you do well and take care of yourself for a while and use any of my books to help you. But you must make that move (save yourself) by taking that first step of seeking help regardless of the stigma around mental illness.

We may not be our diagnosis or illnesses, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to advocate and talk about mental health. Mental health is a crucial part of me and my life with all I’ve been through with it and how far I’m come along with all that I’ve gained from all my education and experiences. I’m not wiling to give into the power of society just because they believe that’s the logical and ethical way of thinking and overall living.

The rest of society doesn’t see reality we the rest of us do. With how much we know from our own education, to all our experiences, we will always refuse to follow their way of living. Because we know how logical and ethical our own beliefs, values, priorities are to ourselves as individuals overall as a society.

Regardless of how much power society can have on the rest of us, we know what’s right no matter how hard it truly is to fight against the stigma and power of society convincing us to come over to their side. Well, we are not sorry but we aren’t gonna change sides or directions. We know what we want with what we believe, our values, priorities and everything else, we know that it’s not worth the risk in any way for it puts our mental health in an unhealthy environment.

And as part of loving ourselves, we are able to not only identify when someone or something is unhealthy for ourselves or mental health but also being able to act on that by walking away (we don’t always have to explain everything that we do, our reasoning of anything is not needed or necessary for all society to know.

No one has to know every single thing about everyone they meet or those they communicate with at work, social events and more) and making sure we are responding mentally in only healthy ways and methods when in scenes like these.

Society may think one thing but we think another. And that doesn’t mean we automatically have to follow them. We have to think using our own beliefs, values, priorities, logic, ethical and creative thinking to choose how or what choice/direction we are going to choose.

If you love yourself enough, you’ll choose to follow your own heart, and put yourself and your mental health in only healthy environments. And if you love yourself like that, you’ll be more able to do your own thing.

One inspirational thing that Radio Rebel quoted that really relates to this all too well:

I started doing this show and I realized: you’re not as alone as you feel. You can remember that, it would be easier to take a risk. Do your own thing.

The Fosters, Drop Dead Diva & The Secret Life Of The American Teenager are three examples of some shows that have taught me great, valuable skills and lessons that I can use for the rest of my life to help me live my life the way I want to with the control that I have over it. As for we are the only ones who have the control of our own lives.

Well most things, some things we don’t have any control or choice whether something happen to us or not. Parents and others out there have to know that they need to stop forcing and trying to control and change their own kids. At a certain age, they are the ones that do that for themselves. They aren’t kids or babies anymore. They dress and overall take care of themselves all on their own.

We want to make something of ourselves discover the rest of the world, learn new things on our own terms with our won control and without our own parents beside us because they don’t trust us or think we aren’t growing up and taking responsibility of our own actions and so much more. We want to become the person that we are truly meant to be, to discover our true life purpose, passions, hobbies, and more on our own. It’s our life, not theirs. They only have the right to control their own lives, no one else’s. So please when we go to therapy sessions with a shrink, don’t take it personally or harshly when we say that we don’t want to share every little thing we discuss in therapy with them.

As per the first appointment, they clarify and state that anything the client and therapist talk and discuss, (the client is able to choose what he or she shares with others outside those sessions). Don’t view this as keeping secrets or thinking or believing that they may be talking about negative or bad things or making plans on doing things that they’d (parents) disapprove. If you want change from them, especially when going through sessions with a therapist, you must trust them that they are working on changing/improving themselves in the areas they wish to improve/work on on therapy along with life learning skills and others gained from therapists.

You can’t be afraid to speak up, we all mess up even. I get it, we’re all the same. Every foster kid think we’re not allowed to say what we need or to stand up for ourselves. But we have to.

(3 min 15 sec left) “Daughters”

We can’t be afraid to speak up, stand up for ourselves when things don’t go the right way. We need to speak up if we want to see better change in the world and in our lives.

9 minutes ~ 4 minutes – “Lucky”

“When your lucky, it is your job to give something back. And when you see something wrong, to stand up and to say so. I’m not gonna apologize for standing up. Somebody has to.” – Callie

If you want change or to achieve something that makes you nervous, scared, shy or any other emotion that prevents us from conquering them in a positive way; then you have to be able to feel uncomfortable, and take risks. Because if you aren’t able to do both along with being open minded, overall open to change and positive things regardless of them being against or the opposite of what you believe in; you’re not gonna get the change you want. You say you want change, yet you don’t act it. You say one thing adn then you act the opposite of what you mean.

Mean what you say but don’t say it mean.

If you want change, the only way that’s gonna happen if you choose to act on your words, speeches, encouraging, inspirational words. You have to be willing to feel uncomfortable and take risks. I know I did. I wanted better, yet healthier change for myself and my life. So I gradually, naturally started one step at a time with feeling uncomfortable and taking risks and later in that process, I noticed change!

If you want change, you have to inspire it. You don’t demand it. Look back at my example: how did I get that kind of change? I inspired it by not forcing it or demanding it on me. So when you argue, fight like we all do with our parents and other acquaintances, no change happens. Why? Because with how we all used (and some of us who still follow/live by), we think we are using logical reasoning and statistics to get change from ourselves nad others. But in all reality in our generation, we are actually going with our emotions rather than our logic. This is a method that my life coach I was speaking with weekly on the phone for about 8 months taught me. It makes sense.

Every time I am in an argument whether I’m analysing that in the meant (which hasn’t happened yet) or some point after, I noticed that I was still going with my emotions and not my logic. Regardless of this method, it’s not easy nor simple to achieve. It’s a life long process. It’s our recovery that never ends. Recovery form any addiction, illness of any kind (mental, emotional or physical) never takes a day off and also is never perfect. You’re gonna experience slip ups, and relapses in your recovery but thats healthy and normal. So please don’t think your doing something wrong in anything. Because you didn’t do anything wrong.

Don’t go blowing something up that could be great just because you’re scared. – Rita

Unfortunately, justice is not always served in this world. – that doesn’t mean nothing can be done about this. About justice being served in our world. Nothing is impossible!

I get things are bad. But what are we doing to fix it? ~ Tomorrowland.

We can’t risk making things harder for ourselves. – so what. That shouldn’t be a good enough reason to not share our stories. Our stories is one way to inspire the world of great things that come from the negative and bad stories. No matter what risks it involves in taking or what someone could lose, tell your story. It will be worth it and you won’t lose anything, except for gaining so much more than you may even think.

“Parents don’t love you more because you’re biologically theirs. I mean, your moms – they don’t love you because your easy to deal with or because you keep your mouth shut. They love you because you’re you.” – Rita

I think we’re all capable of doing things that we never thought we’d do. – that doesn’t mean that we can’t prevent the things that we don’t think we’d be capable of. Nothing is impossible and never say never. It’s better to try than to never try at all.

“I wanted to take this opportunity to tell my story. So my little brother and I have been in seven different foster homes. And in one home, I was raped by an older foster brother, Liam Olmstead. And then there was this other home and we had his foster dad – Jim Pearson. And one day he was beating my little brother so bad, I had to take a baseball bat to his car to get him to stop. Nothing happened to him. I went to juvie. After that, I ended up in a safe, loving foster home. And my foster moms adopted my little brother, but the judges wouldn’t allow them to adopt me. And the same judge, Judge Jeffrey Ringer, continues to block my adoption without considering what I want. And that is what is wrong with the system.” – Callie

It’s time we take center stage and educate the rest of the world on what’s truly and logically important!

“We foster kids have no control of our own lives and it’s our time to speak up and we start calling people out by name. That is the only way that things will change. And we cannot be afraid. And that is why I’m telling my story and I really hope that you’ll tell yours.” – Callie

Judge Jeffrey Ringer: You said I was making these decisions about your life without any consideration of what you wanted.

Callie: Because that’s how it felt. The system is broken, sir, badly. And the only people who really understand just how bad are the ones without any say, without my voice. Somebody has got to speak up.

Judge Jeffrey Ringer: And that someone is going to be you, is it?

Callie: Yes. I’m one of the lucky ones. You know, I …found an amazing family, and I’m finally safe and loved, like, really, truly loved. And one of the things I’ve learned from my moms, from watching the way they’ve lived their lives, is that when your lucky, it is your job to give something back. And when you see something wrong, to stand up and to say so. So, I’m really sorry if I offended you. It was not my intention. I’m not gonna apologize for standing up. Somebody has to.

Judge Jeffrey Ringer: Well I wish it weren’t the case…but there’s a lot of truth in what your saying. It’s not secret the system is failing a lot of kids, and that someone needs to do something about it. I’m proud of you for being that person.

We may not be our diagnosis or illnesses, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t allowed to advocate and talk about mental health. Mental health is a crucial part of me and my life with all I’ve been through with it and how far I’m come along with all that I’ve gained from all my education and experiences. I’m not wiling to give into the power of society just because they believe that’s the logical and ethical way of thinking and overall living.

The rest of society doesn’t see reality we the rest of us do. With how much we know from our own education, to all our experiences, we will always refuse to follow their way of living. Because we know how logical and ethical our own beliefs, values, priorities are to ourselves as individuals overall as a society.

Regardless of how much power society can have on the rest of us, we know what’s right no matter how hard it truly is to fight against the stigma and power of society convincing us to come over to their side. Well, we are not sorry but we aren’t gonna change sides or directions. We know what we want with what we believe, our values, priorities and everything else, we know that it’s not worth the risk in any way for it puts our mental health in an unhealthy environment.

And as part of loving ourselves, we are able to not only identify when someone or something is unhealthy for ourselves or mental health but also being able to act on that by walking away (we don’t always have to explain everything that we do, our reasoning of anything is not needed or necessary for all society to know.

No one has to know every single thing about everyone they meet or those they communicate with at work, social events and more) and making sure we are responding mentally in only healthy ways and methods when in scenes like these. Society may think one thing but we think another.

And that doesn’t mean we automatically have to follow them. We have to think using our own beliefs, values, priorities, logic, ethical and creative thinking to choose how or what choice/direction we are going to choose.

Over so many years of my life, many things have held me back from my complete potential in all the things that once mattered the most to me, those that I believed in, valued and prioritized.

And it has without a doubt changed me in many ways. Pain changes people. They rethink at who they once were and make changes where necessary!

After all my attempts with trying to fit in, had never succeeded well as to what society wanted me to do. To be like them, to meet their expectations and standards till I realized the only acceptance that matters in these moments is my own. I need to accept myself for who and all that I am, flaws and all and be happy being imperfect!

Because I feel more me and more alive and human when I’m imperfect! Because again humans are imperfect, but the rest of society hasn’t caught themselves up to this point of view. And for all that I’ve accomplished with this and everything else, I’m truly proud, happy and confident with the person that I have become!

To me, imperfect and I’m more than happy and content with being so. Because striving for perfection is way overrated and unhealthy. Humans have always been imperfect, we all make mistakes and we will continue to for years into the future. And we will also make the same mistakes even as time flies and eventually we will learn from them. But that takes courage, strength, and the choice of making the necessary changes. It also take the choice and commitment to step outside of our comfort zone to feel uncomfortable in order for change to happen. Which when the moment we challenge ourself, we find ourselves changed!

We all have to fight even if that means fighting to be heard by our own friends and family and the rest of society as well as fighting a battle inside your own head, it’s more than just inspiring but also exhausting. But also comes with its greater rewards and results if we choose to hold on, don’t give up and have any ounce of hope left of greater things in life.

We will only win or learn when it comes to anything in life. If we lose, we are more likely to learn something regardless of what we lost to (a game, battle, fight, argument, etc).

And if we win, sometimes it’s not always about winning and losing, but more about not letting those who are real, true, honest, loyal, special and close to our hearts in which we believe deserve to be a part of our future. We must make sacrifices, and take risks as well as taking chances to hold on and work hard to show others that we are more than willing to fight to keep them in our lives. To show them that we are being honest, loyal and trusting that we are telling the truth about wanting them to be a part of our lives in our future.

When it comes to choosing who you wanna be, be you; always! Because being someone you are not, is a waste of all that you are and the life that you deserve to. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to live your life whole-heartedly like Brene Brown says. You deserve to live your life being happy and however you like!

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken.

It’s your life, no one has control over how you choose to live your life and who you choose to be except you. You are what you allow. You are your own limit.

We have all been there. We all have been caught up in society’s expectations and standards. We all have lived in society’s prison world. We have been there, we have experienced tremendous amounts of pain and suffering, yet here we are, embracing all that we truly are and being happy living our lives on our own terms without caring what the rest of society thinks or says.

What you think about yourself matters more than what others think about you. – Selena Gomez

Sometimes it feels like many things we’ve done and those we are doing in the present are wrong and we should turn back. But how do we know if an idea is a good idea if we don’t test it out ourselves.

To see whether it leads to greater outcomes for what we want from the choice of action and plan, or being a bad idea or choice and be punished with life’s choices including those others like our friends, family and other acquaintances choose for us making the wrong turn.

But we have to listen to our gut, because our brain can fool us and our heart may be something good to follow with great and positive outcomes, but can have its challenges and painful outcomes. But they will teach us meaningful and inspiring lessons!

When it comes to knowing what’s best for you, you’ll know. Trust me, it may be hard to understand how this could make any sense, but with time, the moment will teach you and you’ll realize how this makes sense. Whoever you wanna be, be that. Whatever you wanna do with your life, do that! Do more of what makes you happy and your most authentic self!

What you want and what makes you happy is more important than what anyone in your world/our world thinks or says. Try your best to silence those voices except for your own and follow your heart. Follow your gut, what are they telling you?

When it comes to loving what matters in life, it can be hard to identify what things can be acceptable in better terms to say. But when it comes to that, society can trick you and make go fall for the wrong rules when it come to loving what matters.

They expect you to be a certain way but others times they tell you to be yourself regardless of the fact they judge you anyway. Which makes no sense at all. You say one thing then you say another thing next. Make up your mind, which is it?

But the point of what I’m trying to say here is that regardless of what society may convince you to follow otherwise, stick by what you feel inside. Listen to your heart! Follow your gut! Both always follow the right things in life, never feel wronged by either. And I’m saying thing because:

It’s all in us, I can speak about it cuz I did it. ~ Machine Gun Kelly

Loving something so much to me is something as important as my purpose and passion. And my passion is for mental health and psychology which has become a huge part of my purpose. To which I intend to pursue in school as my second career!

There are other things I intend to achieve with my life aside from my purpose with mental health and psychology. Which is partly a surprise to myself because I’m still exploring and learning more about myself and the things in reality that life has to offer me that in all reasons bring me great happiness!

So in the end here, what you want and what makes you happy is what matters and what you should be doing more of… that’s that! If you are already doing that, keep doing it! If not, start doing this!

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