I’m grateful to have been able read your thoughts, Jennifer. I’m really not sure why your post convicted me to leave this reflection here, but the recent cruelty on display in the world has dominated my thoughts lately — I think something in your post broke me, for better or worse. This is a long, rambling post, so no judgement if you don’t feel like reading it all.

I recently dreamed of a world in which no one person, group, or culture laid claim to it: it was truly a world for all of humanity.

Society was not dominated by ideologies and demagogues. It was not ruled over by those who knew the fundamental truths of this life. Power was tossed aside for grace. Ignorance was met with compassion and patience in lieu of lectures and force. Actions were committed not for gain, but for goodness. This world was one of horizontal service, not vertical servitude — a world sustained by the good will of its inhabitants for each other.

This was not a world without fear — it was a world that overcame it. This was not a world without diversity — it was a world that embraced it. This was not a world without pain — it was a world that simply stopped pretending life doesn’t hurt.

It was a world where people of all different walks of life could live peacefully with each other and enjoy each other’s company in good times while shouldering each other’s burdens in dark times.

This wasn’t an original concept, just an incredibly difficult one to execute in real life.

I believe such a world is not obtainable without getting rid of the delusion that is Utopia — the notion of a perfect, flawless society. Much of our world’s hatred comes from groups of people fighting for their own flavor of Utopia: one for radical feminists, one for radical Christians, one for radical Democrats, one for radical Cat lovers…the list goes on and on and on. These Utopian groups think the world’s problems will all go away if they take charge, ignoring any problems they might create in the process. To the Utopians, anyone who doesn’t stand for “Utopia” is the problem.

After all, how can you deny a perfect, all-encompassing society? Good question, me. That’s done by explaining as gently as possible that what works for some people doesn’t work for all people, and that while it’s fine to want to make the world a better place, it’s not fine to oppress people during the process and deny them the right to be an individual. That creates division, enmity, and ultimately undermines whatever movement is being pushed. Some people may understand this quickly. Others will require time, patience, and grace. Some may never understand.

Humanity is currently tethered to a tyranny of perfection: one’s lifestyle must be perfect, one’s mind must be perfect, and one’s household must be perfect, and all these perfect standards are summed up in the awful little word “Normal.” Once Normalcy is achieved, you are seen as good, functioning member of society. The horrific irony of this is that being “normal” means something different to just about every single person on the fucking planet, and failing to be normal leaves you subhuman in the eyes of many. Utopian groups certainly have their own, harsh brands of “normal” behavior — much of Jennifer’s pain seems directly caused by just that. Many groups think that, should anyone not meet their standard, there’s just something wrong with you. In fact, you’re probably a worse person than us “normal folks.”

Well, THAT’S A GODDAMNED LIE. NOBODY IS PERFECT. NOBODY IS “NORMAL.” WE’RE ALL FUCKED UP IN OUR OWN SPECIAL WAY AND THAT’S OKAY — DIVERSITY IS GOOD.

Jennifer, I want you to know from the bottom of my heart that I think our world is a better place with you in it. Your eloquence and honesty is something desperately needed in this day and age, particularly for those struggling to understand transgender issues. I am certainly one such person. I know you intended this to be a private affair, but the pain you’ve shared with the world clearly resonated deeply with myself and many others. I wept for an ugly thirty minutes after reading this (reached a breaking point after this horrid month). You bear an undue burden in this life, and I feel a new need to fight for your right to just be Jennifer, all identity labels, politics, and duties be damned.

I have nothing but respect for you, and I hope and pray this world becomes one you and all others can find comfort and hope in — I’ll be doing my best to get it there myself, of course. The world is too large and divided for someone to change it alone, but at least we can improve ourselves and show others respect and empathy even when it might not be earned (110% earned here). If enough people stop fighting for one damn second, maybe we can start working toward harmony instead of hegemony.

Thank you again for your message and strength.