Rebuilding After the Affair
Do You Still Feel Lousy After Forgiving?
Understanding the Emotional Complexity of Forgiveness
Forgiveness might seem straightforward, but it is complex, calling for a deep dive into our emotional responses and moral and ethical standards.
It involves wilfully letting go of tunnel vision, resentment, anger, or desire for retribution towards someone who has wronged us.
This is not about condoning harmful actions or saying what they did was okay, but reducing the grudge's psychological burden on the forgiver.
Forgiveness should not be seen as an instance or a one-time occurrence.
It’s an ongoing process, often difficult and time-consuming, demanding patience, conscious efforts, and self-reflection.
It requires burying and re-burying the hatchet multiple times.
It requires letting go of the mindset that your way of looking at things is the only right way.
It requires the forgiver to understand the wrongdoer’s perspective.
This often brings unwelcome feelings of vulnerability; forgiveness is as demanding as it is liberating.
