Why Your Spouse’s Anger Could Mean Progress After an Affair
Understanding the Hidden Signs of Healing
In my readings, I often come across quotes that express truths in very succinct ways. Although I wish I’d originally thought of them, the author found a better way of expressing them than I did. One of those quotes by Arthur Pontynen is, “Those who interfere with self-absorption incur the fury of the self-absorbed.”
This quote means more the longer I consider the ramifications of his statement. It’s a clear answer to those wanting to know why their spouse is so angry with them after discovering the affair.
When they get angry with you, it’s a sign that you’re interfering with their self-absorption. You are interrupting their selfish patterns. In interrupting their patterns, you are forcing them to make changes.
In these cases, the anger signals that you’re getting through. They tried ignoring you, but it’s not working anymore. You’re breaking through their self-absorption, and they don’t like it.
You interfered with their worship of self and self-interest. They were making their own rules, and you changed that.
This also means that rather than viewing their anger as a bad thing, it’s actually a good thing. It’s one of those counter-intuitive truths.
