My Heart Hurts so Good
Never did I imagine that my 5 years relationship would end up into nothing. I never thought I would fall in love with a man like you, while I was in a relationship. At first, I thought it was just nothing because I loved the man that I was with, before you, but then I came into a realization that I was falling out of love with him because there was you. I had no idea before then why I became so into you. I kept thinking and thinking, trying to convince myself not to like you, not to fall for your words, and just completely ignore the feeling that I was starting to feel. I even told myself to stay away from you, but the more I ignore you, the more I felt that the gravity was pulling me towards you. It was undeniably the best feeling ever, because at that moment I realized that I was happy. I was in love with the idea of being in love with you, the freedom, the trust, — and it felt so good. That was the moment when I realized that every broken pieces of my heart was starting to come together, piece by piece. The emptiness that I felt inside, for so long, was completely filled with love by you. You were amazing. You made me feel like everything was just so easy when I’m with you. Those little things that you do that made me smile; cracking lame jokes, making fun of something, and even just by looking at you making weird faces, was already making me feel like that the guy was sitting beside me (which is you!!) is the guy that could make me happy in a long run. But I was wrong, you did otherwise, and that’s okay because the pain that I encountered was worth it. You were worth the pain. At that moment It felt good because I knew I loved you wholeheartedly. I never regret anything. I forgave you. Knowing that I am no longer holding grudges makes me happy, and I think that’s one of the reason why I am able to look at you in the eyes without feeling wrecked. To enclose this open letter for you I want to say thank you for letting me be part of your life, as your other half, even just for a short period of time. Our little infinity was worth the pain. Thank you, :).
Love, S ❤